


Ember

by thepoltergoose1



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Addie is bi, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Apocalypse, Badass Addie, Biological Weapons, Bisexual Female Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Child Abandonment, Daddy Issues, Deviates From Canon, Dogs, Eventual Romance, Experimental Drugs, F/F, First chapter is slow, Girls Kissing, Girls with Guns, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Lesbian Character, Loosely Follows Canon, Lou has abandonment issues, Lou is also Murphy's long lost daughter, Lou is definitely a lesbian, Nuclear Weapons, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Zombie Apocalypse, Road Trips, Scientific Research, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Title from an album, Tosa Inu dogs, Weapons, Werewolf, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, f/f - Freeform, mutated character, tags contain slight spoilers, tragic backstory, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-22 04:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15573834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepoltergoose1/pseuds/thepoltergoose1
Summary: "You were so beautiful to me then-your soul of light, your wraith-like figure-it was as though I could pass my hand through you,untouched, unreachable... like that of a spirit-but still, your essence pressed to mine, tethered to me,as though I could turn it in my fingers,as though it was so much my own."- Segovia Amil





	1. Lyra

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter- the prologue, really- is a little slow, but it's mostly to explain stuff. Future chapters will be much more exciting and romance-y. This story is also named after Breaking Benjamin's album Ember, and most of the chapters will be named after its songs. Enjoy!

Blood, Lou’s blood, was everywhere. It coated her arms, her legs, her torso… her face… She was nearly in shock, nearly petrified, but she kept moving- she had no choice really, unless she wanted to die. Lou limped down the road, her boots scraping the pavement, as she tried to ignore the burning pain in her ribs- which was worsened by the weight of her backpack and the knapsack she carried. Lou’s right hand clutched her handgun, her knuckles turning white due to the pressure she held it with, while she held tightly to the knapsack slung over her shoulder. Inside the knapsack Lou carried two young puppies- Tosa Inus, from what Lou knew as a dog buff (she’d always loved dogs, especially pre-apocalypse, but hadn’t been allowed to have one after Rick came around- so she’d studied them relentlessly), who had grown too tired to walk. She’d cut a couple holes for them to stick their heads out of and breath so they wouldn’t smother. Lou was definitely crazy for carrying two growing dogs with her, especially in her wounded state- and due to the scarcity of food and whatnot- but Lou wasn’t about to let them die, especially when they could be great protection and hunting dogs… besides they were only about four or five months old, but they were still already heavy and pretty big for their age- but Lou had found she was growing stronger each day, despite her conditions.

Lou paused for a moment to take a small break, though she was a little short of breath. Luckily, she hadn’t seen any zombies for a long while; and part of Lou hoped she wouldn’t see any more of them for a long while. After a couple moments Lou began to walk again, but she paused when she noticed the black four-door pickup in the ditch. Hesitantly, Lou approached it to check if any zombies were inside; however, Lou was fortunate that it was Z-free and unlocked with the keys already in the ignition. A small grin tore at Lou’s face as she pushed her backpack onto the floor of the passenger side and then proceeded to gently untangle her pups from the knapsack. Winston, the smaller ebony pup, squirmed lightly in Lou’s arms when she pulled him from the knapsack, though she had better luck pulling Roxy, a larger tawny pup with black ears, out. Both pups whimpered as they wobbled around the seat, snuffling at the cloth, while Lou climbed into the driver’s side and shut the door. 

Before Lou went to attempt to start the truck, there was something she needed to do. She reached for her backpack, gently pushing the nosy puppies out of the way, and drew a small satchel from the front pocket. She unzipped it and pulled out a vial filled with a black serum along with a medical needle. Slowly, Lou pressed the needle into the top of the vial and filled it, her lips pursed in concentration as she pushed up the sleeve of her flannel and tensed her arm. Slowly, Lou plunged the needle into her bicep and closed her eyes as she injected the serum into her bloodstream, allowing a small sigh to escape her lips. It wasn’t a drug, not really, and Lou still had five more vials to take- unless, supposedly, she wanted to die. But she wasn’t wanting to think about that too much, so Lou decided to get on with her life. 

“Let’s hope this works, huh kids?” Lou said to the dogs, and herself, and took a deep breath as she gripped the key. She turned it, and the engine spluttered to life. Lou’s foot gently pressed down the foot, and away they went. Lou allowed her mind to wander as she drove, though she did feel when Roxy and Winston sidled up against her leg. Lou kept one hand on the wheel and reached down to gently pet the dogs. For a moment Lou forgot her pain and the apocalypse… for a moment she felt as though she were a normal girl, driving along the countryside with her two dogs. Then the feeling faded, and Lou was left to her sad reality- that she was a cast-off orphan girl, a girl nobody wanted, and now... Now she wasn’t only injured, but also sick. But hey, each time Lou was wounded the serum seemed to fix her up- so maybe after a bit she’d just be sick. 

After a bit, Lou rolled down the window partially for the pups, but not enough that they could stumble out of the car. Lou glanced at them for a moment and admired their young, wrinkly faces and the way their pink tongues lolled out of their mouths and between their needle-sharp teeth. Those dogs made Lou happy already, despite their short time together, and she was not about to part with them. Besides, she’d already begun training them when she could- up until she’d been injured- and they were rather smart. Lou had crafted them a couple of collars out of parts of her damaged paracord (she had another paracord which was in good shape) while she’d been watching out for them the previous night, and while Lou knew they wouldn’t last long, she couldn’t help but admire her work- especially since it had been her mother who’d taught Lou how to weave like that… back before her mother had remarried. 

Almost on cue, as if she knew Lou was sad, Roxy left her brother’s side and rested lay down beside Lou. She rested her chin on her owner’s knee, exhaling loudly as she settled against Lou. 

“You’re a smart one, aren’t you?” Lou asked Roxy as she ruffled the pup’s ears. “I had a pooch like you once, way back when… before Rick, anyway.” Lou growled his name, the name of her stepfather. “Her name was Sadie, and he hit her with his car. Rick said it was an accident, but I don’t believe him… he always hated animals.” Lou muttered, shaking her head. Of course, Lou didn’t get an answer from Roxy- though she did watch Lou with round, intelligent eyes. Lou only smiled and returned her eyes to the road, where she decided she’d keep them until the truck ran out of gas. 

They continued for a few hours up until nausea began to gnaw at Lou’s empty-ish stomach and had to pull over. Lou hurriedly climbed out of the truck, vomit already pushing past her lips, and let loose the few things she had in her stomach; which was mostly bile. The pups whined anxiously from inside the truck, and thankfully Lou had closed the door to keep them from jumping out. 

“Fuck.” Lou choked out between coughs as she swiped at her mouth with the back of her sleeve. “Fuck, that burns...” Lou shook her head as if trying to clear it, and slowly climbed back into the truck to lean into the seat. Ever since the… ah, incident… Lou had realized her body was changing. Her muscles were aching, and she seemed to get sick easily- even if she wasn’t aching. The serum helped some when she took it, but really everything had begun when the first time that shit had been injected into her blood. Roxy and Winston whined anxiously and licked at Lou’s hands as they clambered over her. Lou tolerated their concern for a few moments before she gently pushed the puppies back into their seat and began to drive again. 

Lou’s mind headed toward the serum again, and the fact she only had a handful of them left. What was going to happen to Lou when the serum was gone? Lou didn’t want to die, and she didn’t want to die from a withdrawal either… or worse. 

* * *

Time flew by slowly. Lou was getting more and more tired, and she doubted she was going to be awake for much longer. The sun was beginning to set, and the pups were already asleep- leaving Lou to stay awake by herself, just as she had been for the past two days. Lou had passed a few green roadside signs, including one for a town called Monticello, but Lou wasn’t really sure if anything was safe to stop at… even though she was aware she was running out of supplies. So, Lou planned to pass through Monticello- or, well, up until the truck ran out of gas fifteen miles out.

“Fuck…” Lou smacked the steering wheel, which woke up the dogs. They began to whine anxiously again as they rose, scrambling over to Lou. “Fuck, fuck!” She smacked the steering wheel again before she finally settled against the seat. Lou knew it wasn’t safe to travel at night, even if she was in the middle of Utah or wherever, and she couldn’t risk worsening her injuries, endangering the pups, or getting lost. But still, if Lou sat in the truck she risked being found by bandits, zombies, or even catching heatstroke from the desert temperatures. Even though Lou wanted to stay, she knew she couldn’t. Lou squeezed her eyes shut and went for the needle again, and only after she’d injected more of the serum into her arm she climbed out of the truck and reached for the knapsack, bag, and handgun again. Lou wrestled the bag onto her shoulders before the gently situated Winston and Roxy in the knapsack and slung them over her shoulder too. 

Again, the uncomfortable weight of Lou’s choices, companions, and items settled upon Lou’s back- though Lou wouldn’t change a thing. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as it had been before, so Lou curiously lifted up her shirt and moved to check the gash on her side. Just like the previous wounds she’d sustained in the last three months, the gash was beginning to heal rapidly. It still looked nasty, but new skin was already forming over it. Lou stared at the wound for a few more seconds before she lowered her shirt and began to walk again. Lou’s boots began to clip against the gravel as she headed down the road, gun at the ready. 

As the world around Lou began to grow darker, Lou’s other senses seemed to heighten. For the few hours of the night Lou could remember, she felt as though she could hear and smell everything. She could taste the air, she could hear every noise… including the sound of the blades of grass rubbing together. 

Then, of course, the sun came up and it was a new day. Lou kept walking, almost like a machine, and kept her eyes on the road ahead of her until the red suburban stopped directly in front of Lou. Lou had been so focused she hadn’t even seen the vehicle approach, but there it was- right in front of her. Lou stood before it, tilting her head suspiciously as the pups began to whine. Two women, an older lady with gray hair and a lady in her early thirties, stepped out. The thirty-some year old held what appeared to be an AR-15, whereas the older lady was unarmed.

“Are you lost, sweetie?” The older woman asked sweetly, her tone faintly reminiscent of a grade school teacher Lou had. 

“I, uh…” Lou paused. “Well, sort of. I, uh.. I was just passing through, but my truck ran out of gas.”

“I see.” The older woman pursed her lips and offered a nod. “What’s your name, girl?”

“Lou.” Lou said simply. “Lou.. ah, well, Lou Harmon.” 

The lady peered over Lou’s shoulder and offered a smile. “And your little friends there?”

“Who are you?” Lou asked instead, her body beginning to tense.

“I’m Helen.” The older lady introduced herself. “And this is my friend, Mary. We’re with a group just a little ways from here, the Sisters of Mercy. We help lost and hurt women, like you. Would you like some help? Or perhaps just a home for the night?”

“You’re not going to hurt me?” Lou asked. “This isn’t a trick?”

“No, sweetie, no!” Helen shook her head. “This isn’t a trick. We want to help you. Come, let us help.”


	2. Lucky You

Initially when Helen had told Lou about her compound, Lou had expected something along the lines of a bunch of tents or an abandoned warehouse. She hadn’t expected an actual  _ safe haven,  _ a place where there were no zombies. For once in the short time Lou had had them, the pups were allowed to be off-leash as long as they stayed near Lou- of course, they didn’t go far; mostly due to the fact that they, too, were afraid of the world. Lou didn’t blame Roxy or Winston for being afraid, especially since they were mere puppies, but they’d suffered like Lou had… though, not necessarily in the same way… after all, Roxy and Winston’s parents hadn’t sold them for a few shots of penicillin. Lou pursed her lips at the intrusive thought but didn’t dwell on it for too long.

Lou had been surprised by all the green and life in the compound, and for once she felt a little nervous to be around things that weren’t dead or dying. She was also required to hand over her bags and weapons, mostly for Lou’s own safety and so Helen’s people could determine if Lou was a threat or not, and so they could go ahead and put Lou’s stuff in a safe place. Lou was hesitant, especially since she didn’t want them to find the serum- so she hid the remaining vials while Helen and Mary had been distracted on the road to the compound.

The first place Lou really saw the inside of was the infirmary, which she was extremely nervous to enter. Once they entered the infirmary, she kept her dogs close; not out of fear for their safety, but rather out of fear for her own. In the past six months, Lou had been in the custody of a crazy military ‘doctor’ who’d had his license revoked. She’d been poked, prodded, and abused; so needless to say she was a little nervous to be entering a place with needles, knives, and drugs. Helen did little to reassure Lou, but Lou had hopped onto the examination table and removed her flannel and shirt so she could be examined despite her growing nerves.

The woman who was caring for Lou was named Amy, and apparently she was able to manufacture antibiotics. Still, despite this, Lou didn’t really trust Amy- especially when Amy was sewing her wound shut. Briefly, Lou wondered how many times she’d been cut open and stitched back together in the last half year, but she couldn’t remember. 

“So, uh, you built this place?” Lou asked Helen, managing to tear her eyes away from her dogs and Amy

“I didn’t, but my husband did.” Helen smiled, though something about the gesture didn’t feel right to Lou- but Lou brushed that off as herself being paranoid. “He’s gone now.”

“Oh.” Lou blinked, a bit surprised by the bluntness of Helen’s statement. It was obvious Helen wasn’t upset about her husband’s death, though Lou learned why nearly three seconds later.

“He wasn’t a good man, that one.” Helen mused. “He beat me, beat us… my sister wives and I, we weren’t too upset to see him go. But, he left us this place where we have fresh food, clean water, and even medicine… and a place of refuge for unfortunate, lost women… like you.”

Lou nearly scoffed. “Lost? I’m not lost. I’m just…” She paused, looking for the right thing to say. “I’m just not sure where I’m going yet.” She glanced at Amy again, who was beginning to bandage the wound.

Helen chuckled and shook her head slightly. “Nevertheless, someone had to have done that to you, hm?” Helen gestured toward Lou’s bruised and bandaged torso and abdomen, along with the injection marks on her arms and neck and the obvious pale scars against Lou’s sunkissed skin.

Again, Lou was silent for a moment while she slid off the table and reached for the fresh shirt provided for her before pulling it on. “Yeah, I’ve been hurt.” Lou admitted. “More than once. But it doesn’t matter, because those people are long gone.” Helen placed a comforting hand upon Lou’s shoulder, but Lou didn’t look up at her. Lou, for a moment, was trapped within her thoughts, which wasn’t uncommon. The past had a way of ensnaring Lou, of pulling her back. Maybe it was Lou’s fear, or her hate, but she could never let go of the things she’d been through. 

“They’re gone?” Helen asked gently, finally regaining Lou’s attention. Helen drew her lips into a taut smile and Lou knew what she was going to ask before the question even left Helen’s mouth. “Did you kill them?”Lou didn’t answer the question at first. She glanced toward her dogs and knelt down, which caused her pups to run toward her. Roxy’s warm tongue washed over Lou’s calloused hands as she whined anxiously whereas Winston wriggled enthusiastically against Lou’s leg, begging for a hug or any type of physical affection. Lou patted Winston’s head, offering him a small smile while she finally gathered the courage to answer Helen’s question.

“Only one, but not on purpose.” Lou said simply. “As for the other three… well, I haven’t seen them for a while.” 

“Were they family members?” Helen pressed. Lou’s eyes narrowed as she focused on her dogs, pursing her lips once more.

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about my issues at the moment.” Lou said simply, shaking her head. “I’m not ready to open up.” 

“I understand.” Helen smiled, and again the gesture gave Lou the creeps. “But since you’ll be staying here, let me introduce you to everyone.” Instinctively, Lou gently plucked her pups from the ground and carried them, one pup under each arm, as she followed Helen and the Mary, the other woman who’d been in the truck. Lou followed Helen over a wooden bridge that arched over a small creek and toward a picnic-esque area. There were no men, which was somewhat comforting, but the most surprising thing to Lou was that there were  _ children.  _ Lou hadn’t seen a child since the apocalypse had begun, and the sight was equally unnerving and surprising. The other surprising part was the fact there were both boys and girls, despite the fact there were no adult men in sight. The moment the children saw Lou- or, well, namely Lou’s dogs- they squealed excitedly and dropped whatever they were doing to swarm the poor, overwhelmed girl. 

Lou froze in fear, instinctively clutching her dogs closer, but after a few moments was able to calm herself and remind herself that the children weren’t zombies; they weren’t going to hurt her dogs, who had been Lou’s only source of companionship since she’d escaped her  _ prison.  _ Small hands affectionately and excitedly patted, petted, and rubbed the puppies as Lou was bombarded with questions.

“Are these your dogs?”

“They’re so cute, what are their names?”

“What type of dogs are these?”

“Where did you find them?”

“Do they like to play?”

“I..” Lou paused, drawing back. “Um… this one, the black one, is Winston.. He likes to play fetch… and this one is Roxy, she’s not really one for playing.. They’re Tosa Inus, which means they’re big dogs and, uh, they sorta found me.. It’s a long story.” 

The wide, innocent eyes of a young girl stared up at Lou. “Will you tell us the story?”

“I.. maybe.” Lou blinked. “Maybe in a little bit.” Reluctantly, Lou settled the pups on the ground which elicited excited squeals from the young children. Winston, true to his goofy and playful nature, bounded off for the children to chase him. Roxy, on the other hand, stood rigidly beside Lou- which was a bit surprising, mostly because she’d been eager to run about prior to meeting the children. Roxy’s tiny nose twitched and her ears perked in an alert position, but even despite Lou gently nudging the dog to go and play she stayed put. The gesture made Lou a little proud, and it definitely made her feel a little warm inside. 

“Ladies,” Helen began once the children were occupied, “this is Lou Harmon. She’ll be staying with us until her wounds heal, or as long as she likes.”

One of the younger women, a girl a little closer to Lou’s age, smiled and approached Lou to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you, Lou. I’m Lina.” Lou shook Lina’s hand, though hesitancy still wracked Lou’s body. Lou’s grip and muscles were nearly as rigid as Roxy, who reluctantly sniffed at Lina before circling around Lou’s leg. 

“Lina here works in the kitchen.” Helen explained. 

“Ah, that’s… cool?” Lou asked. Her socialization skills were a bit rusty, so she offered Lina an awkward half-grin. Lina tilted her head curiously at Lou, but smiled anyway.

“You made it back in time just for breakfast,” Lina told Helen, shifting her attention away from Lou, “we were wondering if you’d return from the early morning patrols in time.”

“Is there enough for our new guest and her companions?” Helen asked, the smile still etched on her face. 

“We didn’t plan for dogs, but I’m sure there’s something for them. I’ll go check.” Lina smiled at Lou again before she turned on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. 

It wasn’t long before they were all seated at a rather long picnic table- one that, Lou noted, had obviously been created for multiple people at once. Lou wondered briefly if the table had been created recently, or if it had been made for Helen and her Mormon-esque family. A full serving of food had been placed before Lou, which hadn’t happened in over four years, but she resisted the urge to scarf it all down at once- unlike her pups, who had long since finished their meal. Lou ate slowly, relishing each bite, and sifted through the information she’d gathered in the past handful of hours. Still, one question lingered on Lou’s mind- where exactly were all the men? Were they off doing work, or had they been sent hunting? It was something Lou wanted to ask, but wasn’t sure how… so, of course, Lou did the first thing that came to mind and blurted out her thoughts.

“Where are all the guys?” Lou asked, frowning. “I mean… I haven’t seen a single dude since I got here, but you have children here.” Lou could’ve sworn a glare had wormed into Helen’s eyes the moment Lou mentioned the opposite sex, but the emotion was soon replaced by that same odd smile within a handful of seconds. 

“There is an, ah… secondary camp in Salt Lake.” Helen said, her eyes locked onto Lou’s. “The men stay there, whereas us ladies stay here. It keeps the peace.”

“When I turn thirteen,” The young boy beside Lou said, gently taking hold of her sleeve, “I get to go see my dad at that camp.” Lou fell silent again, unsure of what to say. She had been through Salt Lake City the previous day and had seen nothing but ruin and decay; however, perhaps Lou had been mistaken. 

“Did you ever know your dad?” One of the other boys asked curiously. 

“And where’s your mom?” One of the girls chimed in. Again, Lou was taken aback at their questions- even if they were just curious children. 

“I never knew my real dad.” Lou admitted as she took another hesitant bite of her food. “And my mom… she never talked about him. She remarried when I was five, and my step-dad…” The children watched Lou with curious eyes, and Lou realized that her story wasn’t one for children to hear. “I got separated from them.” Lou finished without going into further detail. “Let’s just leave it at that.” Lou busied herself with her food again despite the fact she could feel Helen’s watchful eyes on her. 

The meal was silent for a few more seconds, though after those peaceful moments the chatter began again- though Lou wasn’t necessarily the main focus anymore, not that she really minded. Lou didn’t want to talk about herself, she didn’t want to open up to these strangers, and she didn’t want to relive all her trauma. 

* * *

After the meal, Lou and her pups were led to an unoccupied cabin where Lou could rest and have a little privacy. The children were a little upset that the puppies couldn’t stay and play, but Lou wasn’t ready to be without them yet. Still, it was nice to have a little time to unwind. Once inside the cabin, Lou was beyond relieved to see all her things sitting upon the bed. She shut and locked the door once she and the dogs were inside and instantly tore toward the bed to open the bag. Lou’s gun and knife had been returned, as well as her extra pair of clothes, her remaining paracord, the now empty satchel, her canteen, and a thick encyclopedia. Lou put the clothes and weapons aside and snatched the book from the bag and opened it to reveal its somewhat hollow insides. 

Lou carefully began to check inventory, starting with the vials. All four were still there- there were four now, Lou remembered, because she'd injected one the night before after her truck had ran out of gas-, which made Lou wonder if they’d checked the book at all. Along with the vials and the needle were two books of matches, a small bag of Tylenol, some charcoal, a pencil, a handful of pop tabs, a spool of fishing wire, a two small handheld flares, three honey sticks, a photo of Lou and her mother before Rick had entered the picture- this photo was rather old, of course, because Lou hadn’t had any photos of herself taken since that one-, and a titanium ring. The ring was special because the inside of the ring contained a saw and a handcuff-shim pick combination tool that was concealed once on Lou’s finger. So naturally, Lou slipped it on her right middle finger. 

After Lou had put the ring on she kicked off her shoes and scooped Winston and Roxy up and placed them on the bed with her, exhaling slightly. Roxy’s tongue worriedly washed over Lou’s calloused knuckles before she jumped up and began to lick Lou’s face. Winston only whined and sidled up against Lou before resting his chin on his massive paws. He was going to be a very large dog, Lou had decided, and definitely a very strong one. It wasn’t as if Roxy wasn’t going to be large either, but Lou didn’t think she’d grow as big as her brother. 

“What a wild time, huh kids?” Lou mused as she lay back on the bed. The mattress was soft and comforting, and Lou wasn’t used to either of those things. Of course, just like every time before, neither of the pups had an answer for Lou. They were still dogs, but Lou still needed someone to talk to. 

It wasn’t easy, but Lou actually managed to get a good hour or so of sleep before the sounds of a car driving through woke her. She instantly startled awake, eyes wide and chest heaving, and climbed to her feet. A wave of pain shot through her wounded side, but she ignored it and moved to the window to see a silver-gray jeep go by. Helen and Mary, along with two of the women from breakfast, sat in the car- but also three newcomers Lou didn’t think she’d seen at the table earlier. Despite her better judgement, Lou slipped on her shoes and opened the door and slipped out of the cabin, feeling fortunate the dogs were asleep so she wouldn’t have to put up a fight to keep them in the cabin.

Despite her injured state, Lou easily jogged behind the jeep- not that it was driving too fast anyway- and followed the newcomers. Lou didn’t even think of the fact she was keeping up with a vehicle, nor did she even realize she’d never been able to jog like that before.

The jeep stopped toward the middle of the compound where Helen and Mary climbed out. 

“-Can you take care of this one? She’s got an infected leg,” Lou caught Helen say about one of the newcomers. 

“You’re pretty. Are you a princess?” One of the girls from earlier, the one who had been eager to ask questions about Lou’s dogs, asked one of the other newcomers. The princess-in-questioning carried a rather wicked looking bat and, to Lou, looked like she was more or less starring in a punk-rock band… especially with the cherry red hair, braids, and spiked jacket. 

Surprise overtook the redhead’s face, but she smiled. “Hi,” She said, unable to mask the obivous surprise in her voice.

“Wanna see my carrots?” The girl asked, her freckled face beaming with anticipation. She took the redhead’s hand and pulled her away.

“Ah… sure!” The redhead said, glancing hesitantly at the third newcomer- the clear leader of the three. But the leader only smiled and watched the redhead go. 

“I planted them myself.” The girl explained proudly. 

“Ah, Lou,” Helen greeted, tearing Lou away from the redhead and the girl. “I see you’re out and about. I thought you wanted some privacy?”

“I, uh.. I did. But I heard the jeep and was curious.” Lou offered a sheepish smile. “Anything I can do?”

“Not at the moment, though.. Perhaps you could go explore with Rory and our new friend, hm?” Helen suggested, though Lou sensed she wouldn’t have much of a choice in the matter. Lou pursed her lips and nodded, dipping her head apologetically toward Helen before she began to saunter off toward the girl, Rory, and the redhead. Lou found them both in a sunflower patch, but it was Rory who saw Lou first.

“Lou!” Rory beamed as she saw Lou approach. “Hi! Where are the doggies?”

“Oh, uh, they’re resting.” Lou offered a small smile and glanced toward the newcomer. “Helen thought I should tag along.”

Rory turned to the redhead, “Lou’s new too. She just got here this morning and brought some puppies with her.” 

“Puppies?” The redhead quirked an eyebrow, but she was smiling.

“Er… yeah, two of ‘em.” Lou smile grew a little, though it was mostly in awkwardness. “Roxy and Winston, that’s their names.”

“And you’re Lou?” The redhead asked, which prompted a nod from Lou. The redhead smiled and offered Lou her hand. “I’m Addison. Addison Carver. But you can call me Addy.”

“Nice to meetcha, Addy.” Lou nodded, shaking her hand. “Harmon’s my last name, thought it’d be a little weird if I knew your full name but you didn’t know mine.” Addy chuckled a little at Lou’s words.

“I guess so,” Addy agreed with a small nod, “but you’ve got dogs? Like how old? I don’t think I’ve seen a dog since the apocalypse started… can I see them?”

Lou’s awkward smile morphed into a grin, “They’re four or five months old, I think. And of course you can, it’s nice finally getting to socialize them with people other than myself.” Lou smiled at Rory and added, “Plus I think Winston likes playing with you. C’mon, I’ll show them to you.”


	3. Paralyzed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, for some reason, is formatted a little awkwardly. Not sure why.  
> Anyways, enjoy!

“So you’re from New York?” Lou asked, tilting her head curiously as Addy- nearly as excited as the kids had been- rubbed Roxy’s ears affectionately. Winston was playing tug-o-war with Rory, who couldn’t seem to wrestle the sock- Lou’s sock, mind them- from the puppy’s needle sharp teeth. “What’s it like up there? I mean, I’ve never been there before.”

“Well,” Addy began, situating Roxy on her lap, “at the moment there probably aren’t any survivors anymore. The day my group and I left there was this giant horde that ripped everything apart… but Pre-Z? It was amazing. I went to art school there.”

“Art school, huh?” Lou grinned. “Guess I was right for marking you down as an artsy one.”

A small laugh escaped Addy’s lips, “That so? Where are you from?” It was Lou’s turn to pause as she pursed her lips to try and think up an answer. Truthfully, Lou wasn’t necessarily sure where she was from- which, now that she was thinking of it, was slightly alarming.

“I’m from all over.” Lou told Addy, extending her hand to pat Roxy on the head. “I kinda grew up in multiple places, but before the outbreak I was living here in Utah… down in this tiny place called Moab.” 

“Moab? With the red dirt shirts?” Addy looked over to Lou, her smile widening slightly. 

“Ah,” Lou chuckled, meeting Addy’s gaze, “so you’ve heard of it?”

“Um, yeah!” Addy laughed. “It’s a pretty well-known place. I almost went on a trip to Moab on the night of the outbreak, but I ended up going to a hockey game.”

“That’s pretty neat,” Lou said as she leaned back, though for a moment she glanced at Winston and Rory, “you’re a hockey fan?”

“Hell yeah! Are you?” Addy asked, prompting another pause from Lou. Lou glanced at the floor for a moment before she looked back up at Addy.

“I really haven’t gotten out to do a lot of things.” Lou admitted. “I’ve lived in a lot of different places, but… I didn’t do much.” 

“Why?” 

“I wasn’t allowed to.” Lou shrugged. “There were more important things, I guess.” Addy frowned and tilted her head. Lou could tell she was curious, but Addy didn’t pry on that issue any further. Lou was grateful for that, and she hoped it would stay that way. After that, Addy didn’t ask anything else; and neither did Lou. They sat silently, Lou with her hands in her lap and Addy focused on Roxy. It wasn’t until Lou heard Lina and a few others calling the compound to lunch that they stood. 

“Thanks for letting me play with your dogs.” Addy said awkwardly, offering a half-smile. Lou nodded in return as she pulled her shoes on.

“Yeah, no problem.” Lou replied. “Hey, look, you and Rory go on without me for a moment. I’ll catch up in a bit, I just need to do something real quick.”

“Oh, uh, alright.” Addy said as Rory skipped to her side. “Do you want any help?” 

“No, that’s okay.” Lou said as she turned around, her back to Addiy and Rory. “I’ll manage on my own.” Lou didn’t glance back until she heard the door shut. Addyseemed fun and kind, Lou could see herself being friends with her… though, funnily enough she hadn’t had friends prior to the outbreak- not that it had been her fault. 

Lou squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, taking in a deep breath. She was trying to remind herself that she wasn’t really Lou Harmon anymore; she wasn’t some lost girl from Moab, Utah; she wasn’t some weak victim anymore. The serum, or whatever was in it, was making her stronger… it was changing her, but Lou didn’t know how- she didn’t even know what it was for fuck’s sake. Truthfully, she hadn’t wanted to take it… but she’d had to, otherwise she was going to get hurt… and Lou was tired of being hurt. She was tired of the pain. 

Lou sat back on the bed and reached for the hollowed book. She’d already injected so much of the serum in the past two days, but she needed more. It was getting to the point where she craved it, where she needed it… and Lou was scared to find out what would happen when she ran out of it. Once the contents of one of the vials had been transferred to the needle, Lou grabbed the paracord from her bag to tie her arm with. It was becoming increasingly difficult to find new points in her veins where she could inject the serum, so she needed to constrict her blood flow somewhat to find these new spots. The only trouble was the fact both her arms were already speckled with injection wounds, including the crooks of her elbows and her forearms. So, unfortunately, Lou decided she’d have to go for the veins in her wrist. 

“Fuck,” Lou snarled as she pressed the tip of the needle into the vein bulging from her wrist before she plunged the serum slowly into her bloodstream. Her muscles tensed for a moment and she became lightheaded. Lou laid on her back, squeezing her eyes shut again as she tried to fight off a wave of nausea and a brief ache in the frontal part of her skull. She didn’t know exactly how long she laid there, but no euphoria or enjoyment came from injecting the serum. Though Lou knew nothing about the serum, she knew it wasn’t a drug to get her high… it wasn’t for Lou to enjoy. 

Lou pulled the needle from her skin, wincing slightly, and wiped at the tiny drop of blood that had welled up at the injection sight. Then she stood, pressing a hand to her bandaged wound, and froze. Her ribs didn’t hurt anymore, or at least not like they’d been hurting- the sharp, burning pain had been replaced with a dull throb. Frowning, Lou headed toward the mirror in the corner of the cabin and tore her shirt from her body. 

Lou hadn’t had a mirror to look at for so long she’d nearly forgotten what everything aside from her face, which she could see in car mirrors, had looked like. Lou hadn’t remembered herself being  _ that _ muscular- or even having abs, she thought to herself as she allowed her fingers to dance over the newly discovered muscles. And her arms- holy shit, Lou realized she could do some serious punching damage as she flexed them. This body seemed… different. It wasn’t her own anymore, not really, and-

Lou paused, squinting at herself in the mirror. Was she getting taller? Lou shook her head, banishing the notion from her mind. Her height wasn’t that important at the moment, she had other things to deal with. Slowly, Lou began to unravel the bandages, wincing as the fabric peeled away- hoping, expecting, to be greeted by an unpleasant sight. But the gash, which before had been laid open to the bone, was just a fading scar now. Lou stood in front of the mirror, staring at the pale, jagged scar in horror and shock. That gash had been gruesome, Lou could’ve sworn she could see her ribs… but now? Now it was nothing, and all Lou had done was sleep and-

She paused again and glanced toward the needle on her bed. Aside from sleeping, she’d injected the serum. Was it healing her? Was it some experimental healing drug? Lou bit her lip and frowned, the guy who’d been in possession of Lou and the drug for the past six months had mentioned something about working for the military… 

Out of sheer stupidity, or maybe hope, Lou leaped toward the bed and fumbled for her knife. Something was wrong, something was off, and Lou was damn determined to get to the bottom of it… especially when so many things were changing. Lou narrowed her eyes in focus as she drew the knife across her bicep, drawing blood. It wasn’t a deep cut, just a thin line, but it closed. The damn wound sealed itself shut right before Lou’s eyes, as if it had never been there. Repulsed and shocked once again, Lou shoved the knife away from her. Her breaths were coming in short, labored pants as she backed herself against the wall, the dogs whining anxiously as Lou stared at her hands.

What the hell was happening to her?

* * *

Lou had raked that knife over her skin sixteen times, and sixteen times her skin had mended itself. She’d even slashed open the scar on her ribs, but it had closed too- like it hadn’t even existed. Now her hands were shaking as she stared at her bloody fingers and palms, having long since dropped the knife back into her bag. Roxy and Winston were still whimpering, jumping up on Lou’s legs to try and comfort her- but Lou hardly noticed them. Lou didn’t even notice when Addy walked into her cabin, the look of determination set on her face- or, at least until she noticed Lou wasn’t wearing a shirt. 

“Oh, shit, uh.. I’m sorry, I.. I should’ve knocked-” Addy paused when she saw the blood on Lou’s hands. “Lou, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Addy swiftly approached Lou, placing a hand on her shoulder. Lou jerked away, surprised, and looked at Addy with the eyes of a cornered animal. 

“What do you need?” Lou asked hoarsely as Addy scrambled to find something to wipe the blood from Lou’s hands. She settled on the now ruined sock from earlier and began to scrub the crimson stains away, her eyes filled with worry. 

“Shit, Lou, whose blood is this?” Addy’s voice was a whisper. 

“Mine.” Lou answered. “It’s mine, Addy-”

“Yours? There’s not even a mark on you!” Addy pointed out. 

“I know, I know.. I.. something’s happening, something’s not right..” Lou mumbled, shaking her head. “Something’s changing.” Addy regarded Lou with worried eyes, shaking her head slightly. “What do you want, Addy?” 

“I.. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come help us with a rescue mission, but- but I think you just need some rest or something because-” 

Lou shook her head, cutting Addy off with a wave of her hand. In that moment Lou changed, as if the whole blood incident hadn’t happened. “I’m fine, I’ll go.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to-”

“I’m fine!” Lou snapped, her body growing rigid in defense. “I can handle it, I’m not a child!” Addy, taken aback by Lou’s tone, took a step backwards. She offered Lou a hesitant nod before she silently exited the cabin without another word. Lou glaringly grabbed the shirt from her floor and pulled it on, along with the spare flannel in her bag. She grabbed her gun and glanced at her knife, but shuddered and shook her head. She didn’t want to look at it or touch it, especially not now. 

Lou knelt and patted her dogs goodbye before she headed out and toward the jeeps, her mind still reeling and racing from before. Things were changing too fast, and Lou was scared. 


	4. Sober

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shoutout to EvilAuthor, who is legitimately one of the nicest people to comment on and read any of my fics (both here and on fanfiction). I love this fella, and EvilAuthor- it means a lot to me that you enjoy this story. 
> 
> Thank you so much, and enjoy!

The jeeps raced along the gravel road, occasionally tossing their passengers into the air when they hit potholes, to wherever Helen was taking them. Addy, like she’d said, was coming and so was Addy’s friend, Warren- though this didn’t mean much to Lou. Lou didn’t even know why she was going, let alone why they were going. Part of Lou just wanted to belong to something, while the other half… well, Lou wasn’t sure what that half wanted yet but she knew it wasn’t a black-and-white issue. The musty scent of the gravel filled Lou’s nostrils, nearly burning them, along with the scent of the prairie grasses. Lou had been able to smell them before, but not like this- not like she’d shoved a handful of dirt and grass up her nose. And the noise… hell, she could nearly hear all the gears in the jeep turning as it went. 

Lou was so invested in her new problems she was squeezing the grip of the handgun so hard her knuckles were nearly white from the pressure. Lou just stared at her hand and the gun, her body rigid with tension and with the unknown. It wasn’t until Addy reached out and set a reassuring, albeit slightly worried, hand on Lou’s that she took her eyes away from the gun and relaxed a tad. 

“You seem distracted.” Addy watched Lou cautiously. “Are you sure you still want to come?”

As if to prove a point, Lou clicked the safety off on her gun and snapped the slide back to load the barrel. “Too late to turn back now, isn’t it?” Lou asked dryly as they pulled to a stop beneath a concrete bridge. The red jeep had already been pulled over to the side of the road so Rachel, another of Helen’s crew, could give it a steaming and broken-down appearance. 

“Addy,” Helen greeted the redhead warmly, “would you like to stand by the vehicle with Annie?” Addy, obviously, didn’t have to be told twice. She nodded enthusiastically and went to stand by the hood of the truck with a young brunette woman while Helen took Lou by the arm- mostly because Lou was already becoming distracted again- and pulled her aside to hide. 

“What kind of rescue mission is this?” Lou muttered, mostly to herself, when Helen had her hide besite Warren. Warren quirked an eyebrow and offered Lou an odd look. 

“You mean you don’t know?” Warren whispered, her eyes locked on Lou.

“No.” Lou shook her head. “I’ve been here just as long as you… I’ve no fucking clue what’s going on.” Warren went to open her mouth, but she and Lou both quieted down when three motorcycles began to approach Addy and Annie. They rode in a triangle-esque formation, with a large motorcycle and rear car in the front with the two other cycles flanking it. Men were driving, and two girls sat tied in the rear car- Lou could nearly smell their fear. 

The men came to a stop when they saw Addy, and for some odd reason Lou could feel her insides twist and turn with outrage. She, or something inside of her, didn’t want those scuzzbags near Addy. The men killed their engines, and the lead man- a scrawny fella, the type of man who Rick would probably be friends with- dismounted his bike and approached. 

“You got a problem there, darlin’?” He asked, his voice husky from cigarettes- or at least that’s what Lou assumed. 

“What do you think?” Annie sighed, glancing at the steaming engine.

“Kinda dangerous,” the man began to remove his sunglasses, “ain’t it? Two pretty little gals like you… travelin’ all alone?” Lou’s skin crawled at his words, and she fought the urge to snarl or leap out to attack the man. Lou didn’t see the biker anymore, she saw Rick- she saw the man who’d been hurting her as long as Lou could remember. “It’s not safe out here,” the man continued, “I’ll tell you what- why don’t you tell me where you’re headed and Sidecar here can have a look at that engine.” 

The two other men- a younger, rugged looking man and a shorter, stouter man with incredibly long hair- grabbed their guns and dismounted their bikes. The two girls were obviously scared, and Lou could feel it- she could feel their fear, she could taste it, because she remembered being that scared once too. 

Lou couldn’t take it anymore. There was too much pressure in her body, too many feelings and too much energy. She dropped her gun and shot out of her hiding spot with inhuman speed, slipping as she did so. Lou nearly landed on her face, but her arms and caught her to propel her forward- just like an animal. Her body struck the shorter man with the long hair like a car, and both of them went toppling backwards. Lou wasn’t sure why she was going after this man and not their leader, but maybe this one would be an easier target- even though pre-serum Lou could barely lift anything. But this Lou… hell, the serum had done a number on her. The man landed square on his back and Lou could hear the air leaving his lungs when he fell. Lou, on the other hand, rolled across the ground for a spell before she rolled back onto her stomach and shot up again. 

The man had just gotten to his knees when Lou’s shoulders drove into him, forcing him back again, but he didn’t have time to recover from that move. Lou began striking him with her fists- again and again, her movements primal and quick. For a moment, he tried to fight back- one of his fists struck Lou’s lip and her own blood began to drip from her mouth, staining her teeth and her chin. A guttural, angry scream left her lips as she felt the man’s nose crack beneath her knuckles in return; her eyes glazed with hatred- not for this man, but for the man… no, the  _ men _ that had tormented Lou all her life as her fingers wrapped around his neck and began to squeeze. Then the man began to panic and his movements became feeble; but Lou was so absorbed in her beatdown she didn’t even hear Helen fire a warning shot at the other two men who were trying to help their buddy, and Lou barely even felt it when Addy’s arms locked around Lou’s muscled abdomen to try and pull her off. 

“Lou!” Addy cried out, struggling to move the woman, “Lou, stop! Stop!” Another guttural cry left Lou’s lips as she then began to struggle against Addy, though it was Annie who bowled into Lou to finally knock her off of the burly man. The man gasped for breath, clutching his throat as blood splattered from his lips and nose in his desperate attempts to find air. Lou turned around, her eyes snapping on Addy.

“Why’d you stop me?” Lou demanded, instantly shoving herself to her feet. 

“Lou, I…” Addy squinted. “Lou, you’re bleeding-” Lou turned on her heels, swiping the blood away from her mouth- then she froze and hesitated. Her blood was darker than usual, almost as if it was taking on the blackened color of the serum… but this was something else to worry about later. Right now, Lou needed to focus on the task at hand- even if she no longer wanted to be there. 

“Well, gentlemen,” There was a twisted, dry humor in Helen’s voice, “it looks like your little game is up.” The other women, on cue, exited their hiding spots with their guns drawn. Mary had been kind enough to grab Lou’s, but Lou doubted she’d be getting it back soon- not that, after her outburst, Lou even wanted it. And, in a way, Lou was right- because soon the gun was handed to Helen, which she tucked in a holster.

“Wait wait wait!” The younger, scruffier man said, instantly throwing his weapon to the ground. “I’m not really with them, they.. They just.. I was stranded, and- and… they helped me out!” He said hurriedly. 

“Shut up,” The leader snarled, smacking at the younger one’s hand. 

“Drop your gun.” Helen told the lead man, her handgun aimed directly at his chest.

“That ain’t happenin’, sweetheart.” He snapped in return, shaking his head- and earned a bullet right beside his foot. The man flinched. “Woah, woah! Hold your fire, hold your fire!” He paused for a moment in hesitation before he removed his gun, his eyes trained on Helen as he lowered it to the ground. “You see? I’m a reasonable man…” Annie had already collected the gun of the man Lou had beaten up, and a couple other women had shoved him to his feet and toward the other two bikers. 

“I’m sure we can come to some kind of an arrangement…” The man continued, licking his lips uneasily. “Why don’t you just tell me what you want…” 

“Let me ask you this,” Helen said, nearly ignoring him, “these girls with you voluntarily?” There was no answer, which Lou was sure Helen already knew. “Didn’t think so. Ladies?” On cue, Warren and Annie inched forward and kicked the men’s guns away. They shackled them with handcuffs and then cuffed them beneath the bridge while they untied the poor girls in the rear car. Addy was standing beside Lou and the red jeep, her fingers gently brushing Lou’s lower lip as Addy studied her.

“Your lip should be split… but it’s not.” Addy muttered. “Jesus, Lou, what happened?”

“I don’t know.” Lou grumbled in response, shaking her head. “I just.. I snapped, Addy. I don’t know.” 

“Hey, hey! Listen to me!” The leader began to plead, his voice and breath shaking with fear. “The- that saddle bag!” He looked toward his motorcycle. “It’s full of oxycontin! You can take it!” 

“Not interested.” Helen shook her head slowly.

The man’s eyes widened, his fear replaced with hatred and anger. “What kind of a raging bitch doesn’t wanna make a deal?” He snarled.

“This one.” Helen replied sweetly. She turned toward Addy and Lou, “Hey Addy, we could use your help over here.” Addy’s attention pulled away from Lou and onto Helen, and with a small nod Addy left Lou’s side. “It’s time for some justice. Shoot one.” Helen told Addy as she took the redhead’s hand and gently pushed Lou’s handgun into Addy’s palm. Addy, to say the least, seemed a little alarmed.

“A mortal wound,” Helen continued, “anywhere but the head. The rest will take care of themselves.” Addy aimed the gun at the leader, but Helen smiled and pushed the gun down. “Oh! Not this one,” Helen chuckled, “the other one.” By which she meant the younger man. 

“Addy, wait.” Warren approached them, concern overtaking her features. 

“I.. I swear, it wasn’t me! I.. please, please!” The young man began talking hurriedly again, his eyes wide with fear as Addy raised the gun to his chest.

“Is this really necessary? Addy, don’t do this!” Warren demanded, a hand on Helen’s shoulder. 

“Yeah! What the hell?” Lou demanded. “We were just about  _ not  _ killing them, and now we’re killing them?” Lou stood by Warren’s side now, her arms folded tersely over her chest. 

“You don’t want to get in my way,  _ Sisters. _ ” Helen’s voice took on a new tone, a firmer one. The other women raised their guns and aimed them at Lou, which Lou didn’t take very kindly. Instinctively Lou bore her still bloodstained teeth in frustration at the women, which seemed to make a few of them a little nervous.

“Please! I-I swear, I swear! I wasn’t going to do anything!”

“He’s lying.” Helen snapped, turning back to Addy. She began to whisper into Addy’s ear, and whatever Helen was saying- something about a cannibal, but that’s all Lou could hear- was clearly working. Addy’s hands began to shake, as did her breathing as her finger fumbled for the trigger. Addy’s chin quivered, and for a moment she didn’t appear to be  _ there  _ altogether as she squeezed the trigger.

“Addy!” The startled cry left Lou’s lips a little too loudly for her own taste, but Lou didn’t even hear the other men’s cries toward their fallen brother. All Lou could do was watch Addy in horror- which was rather hypocritical, but hey; Lou hadn’t actually killed her target. Helen praised Addy anyhow with a quiet ‘good girl’, and took Lou’s gun from Addy’s hand. The gun was then offered back to Lou with a sickly smile that lingered a little too long. 

“It’s time to go.” Helen told the women, and motioned for them to head to the vehicles.

* * *

 

As soon as they returned to the compound, Helen took Addy aside- which, to Lou, was no surprise. Helen was grooming Addy, and even Lou- a girl who’d had little social interaction in her life- could see it. Lou knew what manipulation looked like, and Lou knew what trauma looked like. Addy was traumatized and scared in some way, but Helen was using that. Helen was twisting Addy’s fears to use her. 

Lou was supposed to go and help the two girls under Helen’s orders, but Lou didn’t feel like following a sociopath. She slunk away from the others and back to her cabin. Her dogs, thankfully, were in there. They’d been sleeping, but as soon as Lou entered they came rushing toward her. Lou instantly dropped to her knees and enveloped her pups in her arms, a soft sob escaping her lips. What the actual hell was happening to her? First the strength and the energy, then the wounds were healing, and now… now rage? Roxy whined and licked at Lou’s cheeks, wriggling to try and worm her way closer to Lou. Winston did the same, though he was more or less concerned with being petted. 

“Shit, shit…” Lou muttered, shaking her head angrily. “What the hell, Louisa? What the hell?” She muttered to herself as she stood up and paced, angrily wiping her tears away. Lou walked toward the wall furthest from the door, thumping her forehead against it. “Why didn’t you just leave when the goddamn apocalypse started, you idiot? Why’d you fucking stay with your nutjob family?” Lou squeezed her eyes shut. If she hadn’t stayed with her family, she probably wouldn’t of ended up as a human guinea pig… or maybe she would’ve even died. But really, at the moment, death was much more preferable than whatever was going on in Lou’s head… and in her body. 

“God fucking dammit.” Lou muttered again as her hands began to shake and nausea began to fill her gut again. She needed more of that serum, she needed… she needed it to heal her, Lou didn’t even care if she was addicted. Lou shoved herself away from the wall and dug through her things for the vial and needle again. Lou didn’t even care enough to search for a vein, she just filled the needle and plunged it into her arm. Lou’s muscles tensed again, and she winced when she remembered she now had two vials left. She’d had two the day before arriving at the compound, one before the mission… and now right after. 

Lou’s muscles tensed again as the serum entered her bloodstream, but the feeling passed like it always did- leaving Lou lightheaded and feeling sick. Lou licked her lips uneasily and tossed the needle back into her bag. 

“Sleep.” Lou muttered. “I need sleep, I… I need to rest.” Lou zipped up her bag and set it on the floor, her hands still shaking slightly. Roxy and Winston whined as they darted toward the bed, begging to be beside Lou, to which Lou hefted them both up onto the bed with her. Lou allowed her eyes to drift shut, though when someone began to knock furiously on her door Lou jumped up. 

“What, what?!” Lou growled as she swung the door open, only to pause when she saw Addy in the doorway. “... Addy? Addy, what-”

“Can I.. can I just stay in here for a while?” Addy asked, swiping furiously at her face to try and rid herself of her tears. “Please, Lou… I.. I just need someone to talk to and.. And you’re…”

“I’m what?” Lou’s eyes narrowed cautiously, but she stepped aside to allow Addy in nonetheless.

“You’re my age, aren’t you?” Addy shrugged, stepping by Lou to sit on the bed. “I mean… you look like it.”

“Bold of you to assume I even know how old I am.” Lou shook her head. “Addy, what happened?”

Addy sniffled slightly, her chin quivering as Winston sidled up against her. “I stayed behind.” Addy whispered, her voice light and airy. “I couldn’t go back, Lou… and.. And Mack, he…” Addy began to cry again, her shoulders shaking as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Lou blinked in surprise, and in awkwardness, as she moved to the dresser and plucked the bottle of whiskey from the top of it- she’d gotten the alcohol from Lina earlier that day. Then she moved to sit by Addy, unsure of who Mack was, to comfort her.

“I… I’m sorry.” Lou wrapped an arm around Addy’s shoulders. “I, uh.. I don’t know who Mack is, but.. I get that you’re scared. I get you don’t wanna go back to the world.”Addy leaned into Lou, still sobbing, and shook her head.

“I.. I love him, Lou!” She sobbed into Lou’s neck, her tears dampening Lou’s skin. “And.. he can’t stay!” Lou frowned softly and offered the whiskey to Addy, which the redhead reluctantly accepted to take a swig from. “H-have you ever loved someone?” Addy hiccuped as she offered the bottle back to Lou, unable to meet her eyes. Lou paused, fiddling with the neck of the bottle. Lou wasn’t sure if she wanted to risk opening up, but Addy seemed so distressed… 

“Yeah.” Lou muttered reluctantly before taking a swig from the bottle, the whiskey burning the back of her throat. “I loved someone once… a long time ago, Pre-Z.”

“What… what was his name?” Addy asked, wiping at her eyes as she leaned back against Lou’s shoulder.

“Alex.  _ Her _ name was Alex.” Lou pursed her lips. 

“O-oh, I… I didn’t-”

“It’s okay. I’m not upset that you didn’t know my childhood beau was a girl.” Lou murmured, taking another drink before offering the bottle to Addy. “She… meant a lot to me. Not sure if I loved her, but... I think it’s the closest thing to love I knew. She’s long gone, though… long dead.”

“How do you know?” Addy muttered as she took a longer swig from the bottle, glancing up at Lou with red-rimmed eyes.

“I watched her die.” Lou said bitterly, glancing at her hands. “She died on the first night of the apocalypse, right in my arms. I couldn’t save her.”

“Did a zombie get her?” Addy asked, causing Lou to pause again. Lou’s chin quivered as she shook her head and took another drink from the bottle.

“No.” Lou whispered hoarsely. “It wasn’t a zombie.”

“Then who…?” 

“My stepfather.” Lou whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. “My stepfather killed her.”

Addy’s eyes widened as Lou looked away, and instantly Lou felt Addy’s arms around her.

“I.. Oh my God, Lou… I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t of asked… I.. I just…” Addy rambled on. Lou could hear and feel Addy’s heart thumping against her ribs as she squeezed Lou into a tight hug, one that Lou secretly didn’t want to be released from- and who could blame her? The last time Lou had gotten a hug of any kind was the night her girlfriend died. 

“It’s okay.” Lou murmured, sniffling slightly. “You didn’t know.” Slowly, Lou turned in Addy’s embrace to wrap her own arms around Addy; who definitely needed comfort, too. 

“Goddamn apocalypse,” Addy muttered into Lou’s ear, her voice soft and melancholy.

“Goddamn apocalypse.” Lou echoed, burying her face into Addy’s neck. “Look, Addy… you’re… you’re welcome to stay with me tonight, I mean… I don’t think I’ll be here much longer, and you.. You’re cool. I like you.” 

Addy pulled away in a heartbeat, her eyes searching Lou’s for any sign of a joke. “You’re leaving?” Addy demanded. “Lou, you can’t leave! Why would you want to leave this place? It’s beautiful!” Lou shook her head and glanced at her hands before she stood up.

“This place isn’t for me, Addy, and I… well, I have unfinished business. I can’t stay here.” Lou explained. 

“Unfinished business? Like what? Hunting down the man who killed you?” Addy asked, taking on a slightly mocking tone. The look Addy received from Lou was exactly what Addy feared- confirmation. “Lou. You can’t be serious.” 

“I can be, and I am.” Lou said. “Addy, you don’t understand what I’ve been through- what’s happened to me. I’m not just going to stay here and act like the people who hurt me aren’t still alive, like they’ve gotten justice!”

“Hurt you? Lou, who hurt you?” Addy narrowed her eyes, trying to understand. “I… Lou, what do you mean?” 

“The man… the men… who hurt me are still out there.” Lou growled. “I do not want to stay here and let them get away with that, Addy. I mean.. Before I came here, before… before all this I wanted to run away and hide, but.. But after the bikers I want.. I want them to pay.”

“What do you have, a hit list?” Addy asked, though she wasn’t mocking this time- it seemed like she just wanted to lighten things up a bit.

“Yes.” Lou said bluntly. “I do: my stepfather, my mother, and their god awful son.” Addy’s eyes softened as she listened to Lou, and it became clear that Lou’s hands were still visibly shaking- though this time it wasn’t from the serum, it was from her anger and her hatred. Slowly, Addy reached out and took Lou’s hand to try and comfort her.

“If you want to do that then we can help…” Addy offered. “Helen… she can-”

“Fuck Helen.” Lou muttered. “You may trust her, but I don’t- and this is my mission.”

“You don’t trust her?” Addy asked, incredulous. “She saved you! She took you in!”

“The only person who saved me was myself!” Lou snapped as she tore her hand away and whirled around. “That’s how it’s been since day one, Addison! It’s always been me, I’ve always been saving me! I don’t trust anyone, Addy! And how could I?! My own mother…” Lou’s eyes began to water as she begrudgingly spat the next sentence from her mouth, “my own mother sold me for a drug to keep my brother alive. She… she fucking sold me, Addy!” 

Now Lou was crying as she sank to her knees, running her hands through her dark hair. Sobs wracked her body, shaking her to the core, as she then buried her face in her hands. Addy sat still, her mouth slightly open in shock once Lou’s news actually registered with her. Addy wasn’t suspicious or angry anymore, she was hurt- hurting for Lou, really. Addy felt badly for her, especially now that she knew Lou had been sold like some animal. 

Slowly, Addy knelt in front of Lou. Lou had since dropped her hands, but she didn’t look at Addy- she couldn’t, she was too ashamed. But Addy didn’t care, she just took Lou’s face in her hands and stared into Lou’s eyes for a few heartfelt seconds before she pulled Lou back into her arms. Words couldn’t fix this, words couldn’t make Lou feel better about herself or about what her parents had done. When Lou pulled back from the hug, one of Addy’s hands still pressed gently and reassuringly against Lou’s cheek. Lou bit her lip as she leaned into the touch, almost trusting it, and then leaned in to press her forehead against Addy’s as she closed her eyes again. All the anger, all the fight, had left Lou’s body. She still hated her excuse of a family, but now she didn’t feel as alone for once. 

Addy closed her eyes as Lou did, allowing Lou to take her time. Addy was still upset about Mack, but Lou… Lou needed Addy’s comfort more than Addy needed Lou’s. Addy brushed her cheek against Lou’s gently pressing a kiss to Lou’s cheekbone.

“I won’t let you do it alone, you know.” Addie said quietly. “I can’t. You’re hurting too much. Please, just… just let me talk to Helen, alright? Maybe you and I can track them down together, huh?”

“Maybe.” Lou said quietly. “Maybe we can.”

“Just promise me one thing.” Addy murmured, taking Lou’s face in both her hands again. Lou nodded, prompting Addy to continue. “Just.. promise me when we’re done and you’ve had your blood… that we can come back here.”

“I promise.” Lou murmured, allowing Addy to gently stroke Lou’s cheeks with her thumbs. 


	5. Help Me Faith

Lou jolted awake, her heart racing from the nightmare she’d just experienced- one where Alex was still alive, but not really. It was more or less a zombie-ish version of Alex who was always trying to kill Lou, but it was a nightmare nonetheless. Lou focused on calming her breathing for a few minutes before she moved to get up, but realized she couldn’t- something was holding her down. Except it wasn’t some _ thing _ , it was some _ one- _ Addy. Lou froze, her cheeks flushing slightly, and then settled back down. Addy’s arms- which were surprisingly strong- had locked around Lou’s waist as Addy slept, and Lou didn’t think Addy would be waking for a little while longer; especially considering they’d been drinking last night after the whole meltdown incident. Lou didn’t remember much aside from actually drinking, which was slightly alarming, but Lou didn’t think too much into it. 

Lou’s head, however, was pounding. Her tongue felt like cement in her mouth, and she just felt groggy overall. Lou squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and yawned, the noise causing Roxy to wriggle up beside Lou. Winston, Lou realized as she tilted her head back, had settled cozily between Addy and Lou- but Roxy, loyal as always, had stayed by Lou’s side. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Lou murmured, reaching out with her free hand to tussle Roxy’s ears, “sleep well?” Roxy only yawned and began to lick Lou’s face before she climbed onto Lou’s side to try and lick Addy. Winston squirmed between Lou and Addy as he got to his feet, clearly still a little sleepy, and began to sniff at Lou and Addy. Addy groaned beside Lou and feebly tried to push Roxy away- though it wasn’t a malicious move, it was just because Addy wasn’t totally awake. 

“Wha-? Wha’ time issit?” Addy mumbled in Lou’s ear, rubbing at her eyes as she released Lou and sat up. 

“Not sure.” Lou admitted as she crawled out of bed, slightly parting the blinds to peer outside. “Not afternoon yet, probably just late in the morning.” Lou stepped away from the blinds and moved to pet the dogs before she headed to her bag. 

“We drank a lot last night.” Addy observed with a small nod. 

“Eh.” Lou shrugged and grabbed her other shirt and pants from her bag. “It was a bottle, not a lot. Addy?” 

“Huh?” Addy asked, focusing on the puppies as they swarmed over her. 

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“That you were going to help me?” Lou asked as she pulled on her jeans- it had become apparent that she wasn’t wearing pants before. “Help me get those bastards?” 

“Of course I meant it. We’re friends, right?” Addy asked, glancing up at Lou. Lou quirked an eyebrow as she looked toward Addy.

“Friends?” Lou smiled to herself. “Well, I haven’t had many friends before. But, we slept in the same bed so I guess that warrants a friendship huh?” Lou teased. Addy rolled her eyes and climbed out of bed to walk to Lou. When she was standing beside Lou, she stuck her hand out and looked Lou straight in the eyes. 

“Friends?” Addy asked, her gaze never leaving Lou’s. Lou hesitated as she tried to detect a fault in Addy’s eyes, tried to figure out if Addy was lying or not. Then, Lou slowly took Addy’s hand to firmly shake it. 

“Friends.” Lou agreed. “But… I mean, we didn’t  _ sleep  _ together right? Like, nothing romantic or sexual?” 

“Dude.” Addy laughed, gently clapping Lou’s shoulder. “No. We just met, dude. We didn’t have sex, Lou. You got drunk and wouldn’t stop crying.” Lou’s cheeks reddened as she looked away and pursed her lips.

“Oh.” She nodded. “Well, sorry about that. I don’t usually cry.” 

Addy shrugged, “Well, it’s okay if you do. I wouldn’t and didn’t judge you. It’s the apocalypse, we’re all a little damaged.” Lou snorted and rolled her eyes as she turned away from Addy so she could change her shirt. Lou could feel Addy’s eyes on her, but she didn’t pay it much mind. “Dude.. shit, are you okay?” Lou froze when she felt Addy’s fingers running down the length of Lou’s spine- her fingers rather cold against Lou’s skin.

“I... yeah, it’s just an old scar.” Lou murmured. 

“It’s nasty… how’d you get that?” Addy was frowning, Lou could tell. Lou ran a hand through her hair as she hurriedly stepped away from Addy to pull her shirt on all the way. 

“If I tell you, you won’t look at me like I’m a freak?” Lou asked, refusing to look toward Addy. “You won’t abandon me?” 

“Why the hell would I do that?” Addy asked, setting a hand on Lou’s shoulder. “Do you think I would?” 

“No.” Lou admitted as she moved to sit back on her bed. “Addy, there is something wrong with me. I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what’s wrong… but I’m changing.” Addy frowned and sat beside Lou, clasping her hands together. 

“I don’t understand.” Addy told Lou. “You’re changing?”

Lou nodded, “I.. don’t know how to explain it, but let me show you.” Lou got up and headed to her bag again to retrieve her knife and ready it over the flesh of her bicep.

“Wait- Lou! Shit, what are you-” Addy leaped to her feet, but Lou had already slashed the knife against her tanned skin. Lou exhaled slightly with the small flash of pain as a thin line of crimson appeared against her muscle. Addy hurried to Lou, her eyes wide as she examined the deep cut. “Lou! Why would you do that?!” Addy hurried to grab Lou’s other shirt from the floor to make a tourniquet for the wound, but by the time Addy had gotten back to Lou’s side the wound had sealed. The same blood dripped down Lou’s arm, but the source of the blood had already closed. 

“See?” Lou asked worriedly. “It’s not even red anymore. My blood’s turning black, Addy.” Addy frowned and gently examined Lou’s arm, but Lou was right- her blood was turning black. 

“Jesus, Lou. What the hell-?”

“One of the men who hurt me,” Lou began quietly, “used me. He wasn’t a predator or a molester, but he was… he was mad.” Lou grabbed the remaining two vials from her bag to show Addy. “The first few days he had me, he put me on this metal table and cut me open… right down the back. He didn’t put me to sleep, he didn’t give me anything for the pain, but eventually I passed out.”

“Lou… I’m sorry, I-” 

“That isn’t where the story ends.” Lou murmured. “He started giving me these, this serum, daily. First half of one, then a whole one, and it’s gotten to the point where I’m taking two a day… and these are all I have left. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I run out. I’m getting stronger, faster, taller… shit, I even heal faster, Addy. I love it, but… but I’m scared. I really don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Then we’ll go find you some more.” Addy decided. “Where’s this guy?”

“He’s dead.” Lou muttered. “I killed him. But the lab’s in Salt Lake City.” 

“Is everything still there?” 

“I don’t know.” Lou admitted. “But I don’t want to make you leave. You like it here, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, I like it here.” Addy said. “But I’m not going to sit back and let you die.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to die.” Lou murmured.

“And I’m not going to let you find out.” Addy folded her arms over her chest. “Have you taken any of that today?”

“No.” Lou frowned. “But Addy, really, I’m not gonna make you-”

“Lou.” Addy said firmly. “I want to help. C’mon, put your shoes on and let’s go see what we can do.”

* * *

 

Lou didn’t know how Addy had gotten Helen to let them leave. Hell, Lou didn’t even know how Addy had gotten Helen to lend them one of the jeeps! Helen didn’t seem like the type to allow her charges to leave the premise, but Addy clearly had a silver tongue or something. The pups tugged at their leashes as they snapped into ‘duty’ mode- they knew when they were expected to act like tough dogs, Lou had been training them prior to the last couple of days- and sniffed at the tires and the gravel. Lou wasn’t about to leave them behind, especially in a place Lou hadn’t been staying at for too long, and she was certain she could keep the pups safe. Besides, this would be a good training moment in the ‘field’- out in the open, really.

So Lou picked them up and placed them in the back seat of the truck and ordered them to sit. Roxy sat on the first command, though Winston had a bit of trouble understanding. Lou gently pushed his rump onto the seat and told him to sit again. Winston listened the second time, his tongue rolling out of his mouth as he watched Lou with loving eyes. He wouldn’t make the best guard dog, Lou knew, but he was a sweet boy. 

“You ready to go?” Addy asked as she set her weapon, the Z-Whacker, in the backseat along with a couple bags. 

“What’s in there?” Lou asked. 

“What, the bags?” Addy asked, which prompted Lou to nod. “Food, water.. Ammo, some medical supplies just in case… a blanket, in case of… well, I don’t know.”

“You’re really taking this seriously, huh?” Lou asked as she holstered her hand gun and knife before she climbed into the passenger seat.

“Of course I am.” Addy frowned at Lou. Lou simply shrugged and settled back against the seat. Addy started the engine, waving at the other Sisters before she began to drive toward the exit. “Are you still thinking about leaving?” 

Lou sighed and sank a little further into the seat as she rubbed at her forehead. “I don’t know, Addy. I don’t know. It just… it doesn’t feel right to me… this place doesn’t feel right.” Lou frowned, shaking her head. “I just… we’ll see.” 

“Do you want to leave?” Addy asked, glancing at Lou as they stopped at the gate. 

“If I wanted to, would you come with?” Lou countered, quirking an eyebrow. Addy pursed her lips and returned her gaze to the road instead of responding as they eased through the gate, waving toward the lookouts as they passed. Lou doubted Addy would leave with her, especially since- like Addy had said earlier- they’d only just met, but here Addy was trying to help Lou anyway… so maybe, maybe she would. Part of Lou hoped Addy would come, but the other part of Lou didn’t want to tear Addy away from the solace she’d found. 

“God,” Addy murmured as she turned out toward Salt Lake, “I hope Mack isn’t here.”

“Mack…” Lou frowned. “Like, your ex Mack?” Addy nodded silently, sighing. 

“He didn’t like it when I stayed.” Addy admitted after a few minutes while they drove. “He freaked out.”

“Why?” Lou asked, tilting her head. “I mean… I don’t know what happened.” 

“I felt safe there, with Helen… with the Sisters.” Addy told Lou. “I… I didn’t feel safe out here. I couldn’t go back out here.”

“But you are, you are back out here.” Lou said, frowning.

“Yes, I am.” Addy nodded. “For you. I don’t want you to die.” Lou frowned softly and reached out to rest her hand on Addy’s shoulder.

“Thank you.” Lou told Addy. “Thank you, Addy… I really mean it. No one… no one’s been this nice to me before.” 

“Except for Alex?” 

Lou shook her head, “No. You’re literally the nicest person I’ve met.” She admitted, wringing her hands together. “I don’t… I don’t have a lot of experience with people… Or, well, friendly people. Forgive me if I seem…” Lou searched for the right word.

“Awkward? Standoffish?” Addy teased, to which Lou gave her a firm glare. Addy, however, only smiled and winked at Lou. 

“Yeah… those things.” Lou sighed. “It’s hard for me to trust people, and so… so I don’t know how to thank you. I don’t know what to say, but.. This means a lot to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

“Stay at the compound with me,” Addy said quietly, “and the debt will be paid.” 

* * *

They stopped just outside the city limits around noon to eat and allow the dogs to do their business. Lou took the moment to walk the dogs through basic commands- sit, lay down, shake, stand, stay, speak, and hush- before they did a small tracking exercise. Addy watched, amused, and smiled as Lou and her young dogs faltered over the commands- but when they did complete the tasks, Addy clapped and laughed; though it wasn’t a mean gesture, just something to cause Lou to blush or get flustered… Lou clearly wasn’t used to the attention, but the dogs did seem to enjoy Addy’s presence. 

“Do you know how to get to the lab?” Addie called as Lou reattached the dogs’ leashes and led them back to the jeep. 

“‘Course I do.” Lou nodded. “I can get us there.” She scooped the pups back up and set them in the back again.

“You know,” Addy muttered as she took a swig of water, “Salt Lake is supposed to be overrun. We’re going to have to be careful, especially with your dogs.”

“You’re right,” Lou nodded, “what’s the plan?” 

Addy bit her lip and glanced back at the dogs. “I know it’s hot out, but… maybe we can put them on the floor of the jeep and cover them up?”

“With the blanket?”

Addy nodded, “If you can keep them quiet, it could work. I don’t even know how many zombies are still in there.”

“That could work, but it’s Utah. It’s fucking hot.” Lou murmured. “We’ll need to leave them water.”

“Yeah,” Addy bit her lip, “but in what?” Lou grabbed the first aid kit out of one of the bags and then dumped the items inside into the bag.

“Things might be a little difficult to find, but we can put water in this.” Lou said, holding her hand out to Addy for the canteen. Addy obliged with a small nod as Lou poured the water into the kit and set it on the floor. “Down,” Lou told the dogs, pointing toward the floor of the jeep. Thankfully, both of them listened and hopped down. Lou and Addy then proceeded in placing the blanket over them, though Lou was a bit nervous about it- even if it was Lou’s fault the pups were there. 

“Hush. Stay.” Lou told the pups when they began to wriggle, to which they listened, and then climbed back into the passenger seat. This time, Lou had her gun drawn- and she couldn’t help but think back to just yesterday when Addy had killed the biker with it. Addy seemed to have the same thought, because she spoke as soon as she got into the car.

“I, uh… I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was your gun.” Addy said as she started the engine and began to drive again. “I.. wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“What did Helen tell you?” Lou blurted out suddenly. “What did she say to you yesterday when you shot that guy?” 

“I was kidnapped in Philadelphia.” Addy admitted quietly. “A cannibal kidnapped me, and… I saw them, Lou, all the  _ live _ people they were  _ eating _ .” Addy seemed to shudder. 

“Addy,” Lou said quietly, reaching over to place a hand on Addy’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry that happened.” And Lou was sorry- even if she didn’t know what to say. Lou gently squeezed Addy’s shoulder before leaning against her, though the gesture felt foreign to Lou- she’d never had a desire to touch a person through her own free will. Lou could feel Addy’s breath hitch in her throat, which caused Lou to jolt away. 

“I’m sorry.” Lou murmured. “I shouldn’t of done that.”

“Oh! No, uh… it was nice.” Addy responded quietly. “I just.. Didn’t expect that from you.” 

“Well, believe it or not, I can be spontaneous sometimes.” Lou offered Addy a smile. 

Addy laughed softly and shook her head, “I guess you’re right.”

* * *

 

It took them a couple hours longer before they reached the actual lab. It wasn’t a large building- just a one story structure with a few rooms; mostly because the lab had been an animal shelter prior to the doctor settling down in it- but still, the sight of it caused chills to run down Lou’s spine and made her want to run away, but Lou shook away her fear and stepped out of the car once Addy had parked. Fortunately, they’d run into very few zombies- so Lou suspected they were moving away from the city. Lou pulled the blanket off of the pups, which caused them to excitedly jump up against the inside of the jeep to try and get to Lou. 

“No, no. Down, pups, down!” Lou whispered firmly, gently shoving them down as she reached for their leashes. They listened reluctantly and allowed Lou to clip the leashes to their collars and let them out. “Heel.” Lou commanded, snapping her fingers and pointing toward her boots. 

“This is the place?” Addie asked as she handed one of the bags to Lou before grabbing her Z-Whacker and the other bag.

“This is the place.” Lou confirmed with a nod as she slipped the bag onto one of her shoulders. “It shouldn’t be too difficult to get inside, the doors aren’t locked anymore. I just don’t know what’s on the inside. You know?” Lou asked, glancing toward Addy- unable to hide the discomfort and anxiety in her eyes. Lou wasn’t sure if she could face the lab that had hurt her, that had changed her. Addy seemed to sense this as she headed to Lou and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“We’ll do this together. Alright?” Addy told Lou firmly, gently squeezing her shoulder. “We’ll figure out how to help you, and then we’ll be on our way back. I’ve got you, Lou.”

Lou, without thinking, switched the dogs’ leashes to her other hand so she could throw her arm around Addy. “Thank you.” Lou told her again, trying her best to show Addy how much this meant to her. Addy, of course, didn’t hesitate to hug back with her own free arm.

“You don’t need to thank me.” Addy told Lou. “We’re friends, and friends help each other.”

“Do you really mean that?” Lou asked, which clearly caught Addy off guard. 

“Of course I do!” Addy exclaimed. “C’mon, Lou, I’m not going to abandon you. Now, let’s go.” Addy released Lou and took a step back. “Lead on.”

Lou nodded and motioned for Addy to follow. The dogs, luckily, stayed by Lou’s side like they’d been commanded. Addy followed close behind Lou, her bat at the ready in case any zombies appeared. Lou, surprisingly, hadn’t forgotten a single detail about the lab- but who could blame her? She’d been traumatized here, it would be hard to forget the details of a place that had harmed her. Lou knew the front doors had been damaged a long time ago, but she knew the back doors were still functional so she led Addy and the dogs around back to the still ajar door. 

“Something might be inside.” Lou told Addy. “Be ready.” Addy nodded in response as Lou headed in, drawing her gun with her free hand as she crept along the hallway attached to the backdoor. This hallway led to the supply area, where there was- or, well, had been- food and ammo. Lou didn’t know if it was still there, but from the supply room they could head down to the detainment area and the lab itself. The hallways were empty, aside from a few blood splatters, which made Lou uneasy… had those been there before? Lou shook her head and tried to move past it so she could focus. 

The door to the supply room was shut when they reached it. Lou paused and settled her ear against the door, listening quietly for anything on the other side. Lou didn’t hear anything, but she handed the dogs to Addy just in case there was something behind the door. Lou swapped her gun for the knife, readying it while she opened the door. Just like Lou had expected, there had been a zombie on the other end- which Lou was quick enough to shove the knife into the zombie’s skull. It struggled for a few seconds, then slumped over while Lou pulled the knife from its head. Lou took in a deep breath as she kicked its body out of the way and stepped inside, squinting. The light in the room wasn’t too great, mostly because the lightbulb on the ceiling had shattered, but Lou could make out a few good supplies- non-perishables, mostly, and a few rounds of ammo. Lou didn’t hesitate to shove those into her bag quickly before they moved on. 

The next hallway was empty as well, but Lou didn’t doubt there would be zombies in the detainment room- but they’d most likely be caged. Lou hadn’t been the doctor’s only experiment, but she hadn’t stopped to save any of them. Part of Lou didn’t want to go through the detainment room, she didn’t want to see her old cell- she didn’t want to have to see everything and relive the torture. 

“Hey.” Addy said gently. “I’m here. It’s okay.” 

Lou looked back at Addy and nodded, biting her lip nervously, as she pulled open the door. Lou, of course, had been right. Bodies- some dead, others zombified- lay in those rows of cages. The zombified ones moaned and groaned while the others simply lay still, decaying. Lou didn’t know how long they’d been dead, but one cage- the furthest one toward the lab door- was empty… that had been Lou’s old cage. Lou uneasily stepped into the room, her gun drawn now, and headed for her old cage and the lab.

The concrete floors of Lou’s cage were stained with her blood, and Lou could picture herself laying in there; nearly dead, emaciated, and lethargic. Lou shuddered and shook her head, drawing away from it after she’d ran her fingers against the metal bars of the cage. 

“You okay?” Addy asked quietly, watching Lou in concern.

“Yeah.” Lou cleared her throat. “I’m fine.. Let’s, uh… let’s move on.” Lou turned on her heel and headed for the lab door, which was also unlocked. “We’ve been lucky these doors are unlocked.”

“You unlocked them all when you left, didn’t you?” Addy asked quietly. Lou froze for a moment and glanced at the floor. 

“Yeah.” She admitted. “I did… and then I killed that bastard.” 

“Then why didn’t you let them out?” Addy gestured toward the other cages, frowning, as she tried to understand. Lou opened the lab door, trying to find the right answer. 

“I don’t know.” Lou admittedly quietly as she stepped into the lab, trying to keep an eye out for anything. “There were a lot of things here I hated. I guess I hated them, too.” 

“Why?” Addy frowned as she stepped into the lab and shut the door behind them. The room was empty aside from Lou, Addy, and the dogs so Lou tied the dogs’ leashes to a table end to keep them from getting into anything. Then Lou sighed and turned to Addy, shaking her head as she set her bag on the ground. 

“There were more than just experiments, Addy.” Lou admitted as she walked to one of the tables. “There were fights, too. There’s a basement here, but it’s not much… just a giant cage. He used to throw a couple of us in there to see who was stronger. He didn’t let us die, not always, but he treated the losers like shit.”

“You didn’t win a lot, did you?” Addy asked quietly as she set down her bag as well, along with the Z-Whacker. Lou’s answer came in the shake of a head.

“I was already half-starved from living with my piece of shit parents.” Lou muttered as she went through the cupboards. “There wasn’t much I could do back then. Can you check those drawers over there?” Addy nodded, but didn’t ask anything else- there wasn’t anything else to ask, not really, and Addy didn’t think Lou would answer anything else. Lou had already admitted that trust wasn’t an easy thing for her, and Addy didn’t want to misuse that trust or push Lou too far. The only thing Addy found in the drawers were a few leaves of paper, some discarded pens, and surgical tools. Lou wasn’t having much luck either, and Addy could tell she was growing frustrated. If there wasn’t anything in the lab anymore, there was no telling what would happen to Lou. 

As the search went on, Lou became more frantic. She threw open the refrigerator units, her heart pounding in her chest, but didn’t find the serum. The black vials had disappeared, or perhaps there just hadn’t been any others in the first place. 

“Shit, Addy, shit…” Lou whimpered as she ran her hands through her hair, beginning to pace. “There’s nothing here, there’s… it’s gone!”

“Lou, it’s okay.” Addy approached Lou cautiously, the way someone would approach a wounded animal. “I… we don’t know what will happen, right?”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?!” Lou snapped as she turned on Addy, her eyes brimming with tears. It wasn’t right, Addy decided, to see someone like Lou cry- it didn’t feel natural. Addy held her hands up in surrender, though her heart ached for Lou.

“No. I’m sorry, I misspoke.” Addy said gently. “What I’m trying to say is you probably won’t die. We can work through this, Lou. We… I… can help you. I’m not giving up on you, Lou. I will not let you die. You still have those two doses left, you haven’t taken any today. We can split up the dosages, we can try and ration it-”

“I don’t need you to babysit me!” Lou growled, shaking her head. Addy knew that Lou didn’t mean to be nasty, Lou was just scared. “I’m not a fucking baby, Addy, I’m not fragile!”

“You know what?” Addy folded her arms over her chest as she closed the distance between her and Lou. “Maybe you do need me to watch over you. You might not be fragile now, Lou, but I know you’re more afraid than you’re letting on. You need to trust me, you need to understand that I am  _ not _ going to sit back and watch you die.” Addy had set her hands on Lou’s shoulders by now. 

“Addy, if I don’t get this serum I might not make it.” Lou said, the desperation evident in her voice. “I’m not ready to die. I… I’m terrified, Addy.” Lou didn’t like admitting it, even though it was obvious she was scared. 

“I will not let you die.” Addy repeated, pulling Lou into her arms. “I’m going to do everything I can to keep you here with me. I know you’re scared, and I get it. I’d be scared too… but you’re not alone.” Lou buried her face in Addy’s neck, the tears falling down her cheeks again for the second time in two days. She held herself as close to Addy as she could, and as tightly as she could, and Addy could feel Lou’s arms shaking. 

“God…” Lou muttered. “Addy, you barely know me… you’ve literally known me for, like, two days… why do you want me around?”

“I like your company.” Addy said simply. “I can tell you’re a good person, too, Lou… I don’t care if I’ve just met you. Sure, you’re a little rough around the edges… and a little standoffish… but I like you. All of you. I’m not gonna give up on you.” Lou sniffled softly, shaking her head.

“Do you mean that? Do you  _ really _ mean that?” Lou squinted at Addy as she pulled away, her teary eyes still a red- and the tears were still falling. Addy reached up and brushed those remaining tears away, nodding. 

“I do. I mean it, Lou. Now come on, let’s go.”


	6. Fall For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long! It's been busy for me since I got a new job, so this chapter is a little rushed. However, the next chapter should be a little more clear and will be better written. This is a bit of fluff and implied smut as well (I didn't want to write out a sex scene).

Lou hunched by the creek, dangling her bare feet into the cool waters as she reflected on everything that had ever happened to her. The pups were playing with the kids back by the cabins, but Lou didn’t want to be around others at the moment. The mission to the lab had been a bust, and Lou still had a limit supply of the serum- which, if Lou was right, would literally only last her a day. Lou didn’t know what was going to happen after that, she didn’t know if she was going to die… she didn’t know anything, and Lou was terrified. The fear of the future gnawed at her stomach, making her guts churn within her, as she trembled and shook her head. Hell, what would happen to her dogs after she died? Lou doubted Addy would care for them, and Lou wanted the best for them- even if they were only dogs to some people. But to Lou they were everything- they represented the things Lou couldn’t have before the apocalypse, they represented the things Lou had wanted. 

Lou’s thoughts returned to Addy once again- sweet Addy, who’d been more affectionate and caring toward Lou than anyone else, who actually  _ wanted _ Lou around and didn’t think of her as a burden. Lou was slightly wary, but who could blame her? Part of Lou doubted that Addy actually cared, as Lou often had with people throughout the entirety of her life, and wondered why Addy wanted Lou around at all… but Lou couldn’t think of any reasons why Addy would do that. Maybe Addy was just a nice person who cared about Lou after all. The other thing Lou knew was Addy wasn’t far behind her, that Addy wouldn’t allow Lou to be alone- especially now. But at the moment, it was a waiting game; and Lou would have to wait for Addy to find her. Fortunately, Lou knew as soon as she heard footsteps the wait was over.

“Did I ever thank you?” Lou asked quietly as she gently plucked a smooth, oval stone from the ground.

“You might’ve.” Addy shrugged, slowly moving to sit beside Lou. “Why?”

“Because I need to. For everything.” Lou admitted. “Thank you, Addy.” Addy offered Lou a smile in return, and slowly- though Lou still wasn’t sure why- Lou leaned against Addy. Lou hesitantly rested her head against Addy’s shoulder and closed her eyes, exhaling. “If I die-”

“You’re not going to die.” Addy told Lou defensively, frowning. 

“Addy, please.” Lou murmured. “Let me finish… if I die, take care of my dogs. Alright? Please.” Addy wrought her hands together slightly, nodding.

“Alright. I can do that.” Addy nodded, then hesitantly she added, “Is there anything else I can do?” 

“Just hold my hand for a bit.” Lou murmured quietly, her eyes still closed, as Addy’s fingers closed around her own. “I like the way my hand fits in yours.” Addy blinked in surprise and glanced at Lou, who looked both peaceful yet uncomfortable at the same time- if that were even possible. 

“I… did you just flirt with me?” Addy asked, her cheeks warming slightly. Lou cracked one of her eyes open slightly, golden bits flecking in her irises. She really was changing, wasn’t she?

“I might’ve.” Lou shrugged, smiling slightly, as she shut her eye again. Addy watched Lou for a moment, then she wrapped an arm around Lou’s waist and pulled her a bit closer. They sat in silence- or, well, near silence since the children and dogs were playing not too far behind- before Addy spoke up again.

“Look, I know we don’t know each other too well but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.” 

Lou glanced up at Addy, admiring her, before she smiled. “It’s like you said, Addy. I’m not alone, not anymore. It’s nice… seeing, experiencing, such kindness from you.. I’m really glad I stayed alive long enough to meet you.” Lou affectionately squeezed Addy’s hand before she rested her head against Addy’s shoulder once more. Addy couldn’t help but smile as an odd, warm feeling spread throughout her chest- one she hadn’t felt for a long, long time. 

“You talk about yourself like you’re already dead.” Addy muttered, then sighed. “You know, you’re the  _ perfect  _ height for me to rest my head on top of yours.” 

“I am?” Lou mused as Addy leaned her head against Lou’s. “You’re hardly taller than me, you know.”

“I know.” Addy smiled. “But it’s cute. I’m not used to being the taller one.”

“Cute?” Lou quirked an eyebrow, glancing up at Addy again. “Did you call me cute, Addison Carver? And the taller one in  _ what _ , may I ask?” By now the sun had set, the children were beginning to head to the cabins with their parents. Addy looked at Lou, slightly bewildered, as the tips of her ears turned red. It was clear Addy didn’t know how to respond, but Lou still found it amusing. 

“I mean, yeah, you’re cute- I, uh..” Addy ran a hand through her hair. “And, ah, you’re a comfortable pillow?” Lou couldn’t help but laugh, causing Addy’s face to become even redder as she looked away. “Don’t laugh!” Addy mumbled, glowering at the ground.

“You need to stop.” Lou chuckled, shaking her head. 

“Stop?” Addy frowned. “Stop what?” 

“Saying things that make me want to kiss you, Addy.” Lou admitted coolly, glancing at the water in the creek. “It’s becoming a problem.” 

“Then why don’t you do it?” Addy challenged playfully, not fully taking in Lou’s confession. Lou, on the other hand, brushed her free hand against Addy’s cheek and turned Addy’s face toward her own. Lou silently admired Addy’s face- the cherubic shape, the brilliant blue eyes, the confidence in her features. 

“Because if I do,” Lou said quietly, “I don’t think I’d be able to stop.” Addy’s eyes widened slightly- almost imperceptibly- when she realized how serious Lou was being. Addy’s hand settled on Lou’s knee as she shifted her body slightly to admire Lou in return, a slight confusion nibbling at Addy’s gut. Addy had never been confused about her sexuality, or the fact she’d always loved girls and boys, but she was more so confused about Lou- sweet, mysterious Lou who had, by some chance, allowed Addy into her closed-off life. 

“Then don’t stop.” Addy whispered after a second, leaning toward Lou- her lips parting instinctively. Lou hesitated for a second, but not for long, before released Addy’s hand to hold onto Addy’s face and kiss her. For once, both of the girls relaxed and allowed themselves to close their eyes as Lou broke away and rested her forehead against Addy’s momentarily before Addy brushed her lips against Lou’s for another kiss. Then it was Addy taking the initiative and shoving Lou gently onto her back, hungrily searching for Lou’s lips in the darkness. Lou’s hands found Addy’s hips as she nibbled on Addy’s lower lip, a soft growl bubbling up through her throat.

“Wait, wait,” Lou mumbled after a second between Addy’s kisses, “the ground is really uncomfortable.” Lou grinned up at Addy. Addy rolled her eyes, though she was smiling, and shook her head.

“Then get up,” Addy murmured, “it’s not like you don’t have a cabin here, right?”

* * *

 

When Lou woke, everything was still- and for once, it was peaceful. Addy’s bare form was curled into Lou’s back, and Lou’s equally naked self was rather enjoying it. Addy, as she’d been the previous morning, was still asleep. Lou didn’t mind, however, though she did grin over at Addy as she slept- slightly pleased with herself- before she got up to d let the dogs out. The dogs were definitely happy to be let out of the bathroom (Lou had shut them in there so they didn’t get in the way) as they squirmed and jumped against Lou’s legs. 

“Down!” Lou commanded quietly, careful not to wake Addy, as she let the dogs out of the cabin- barely opening the door as she did so, careful not to expose herself. There wasn’t any trouble for them to get into, and the children were already up and about- so something told Lou it was past noon. Lou glanced at Addy once more, who was still asleep, and couldn’t help but smile again as she walked into the bathroom to shower. Part of Lou remembered that she hadn’t showered in a long time, and she wanted to remember what it was like to be clean again. The warm water, once started, definitely felt amazing against Lou’s skin- which, Lou noted, was beginning to turn an smoky color in different patches of her body. Lou took a moment to examine herself and these new patches curiously- they definitely hadn’t been prevalent, or at least noticeable, when she and Addy were having sex. Eventually, Lou came to the conclusion that they weren’t harmful but definitely not very attractive. She also, for once, didn’t feel sick- she felt rather strong and energetic, which was oddly unusual for her; however, Lou didn’t get much time to mull over it. The door opened, slightly startling her, but Lou settled when she realized it was just Addy.

“I let the dogs in. Mind if I join you?” Addy asked when she entered the bathroom.

“Do you even have to ask?” Lou found the grin forming upon her face again as Addy parted the shower curtain and stepped into the shower, pressing against Lou as she kissed her again. “Mornin’, sweetheart.” Lou greeted when Addy broke away, her voice low and husky. 

“‘Sweetheart’, huh?” Addy chuckled, then frowned. “Your skin’s changing.”

“I know.” Lou nodded as she reached for the soap, looking away. “But I don’t feel worried… or, well,  _ as  _ worried. I think being with you… speaking with you… really does help. And now… I can’t help but…” 

“But what?” Addy asked gently, taking Lou’s face in her hands so she could look Lou in the eyes.

“I can’t help but never want to be without you.” Lou frowned. “That’s not toxic, is it? I don’t mean it in the manipulative way, or the possessive way. I just mean that I like being around you, that you… you make me want to be better. You know?”

“God,” Addy’s eyes watered a little, “you’re sweet. I know what you mean.” Addy kissed Lou again, but there was a different meaning to it- it was more gentle, less needy. There had been plenty  _ needing  _ and  _ wanting  _ the previous night, but this kiss was more affectionate. “I would’ve loved to know you Pre-Z. I wish I did.” 

“You know,” Lou murmured gently, managing a smile, “I was thinking the same thing.” Addy grinned at Lou and shook her head, but aside from that she snatched the soap out of Lou’s hand.

“Here, turn around. Let me check on that wound-”

“Which one? They’re all gone.” Lou said, shrugging, as she turned around anyways. 

“All of them? But Lina told me you came in with a-”

“It’s gone, there’s nothing. I thought you’d know that, I mean- you saw me naked all last night.” Lou teased. “I’m changing, Addy, I told you.” Addy didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead of checking Lou’s wounds she moved to wash Lou’s hair, humming softly. 

“Your hair’s gonna be really soft after this.” Addy murmured, her fingers gently massaging Lou’s scalp. 

“You think?” Lou asked, smiling. 

“I  _ know _ .” Addy corrected, chuckling softly as Lou rinsed her hair and turned to Addy, nibbling at Addy’s lower lip as she did so. 

“I  _ really  _ like kissing you.” Lou murmured, shaking her head, as she admired Addy. “But, I’d like to braid your hair.”

“You know how to braid?” Addy quirked an eyebrow. Lou gasped in fake hurt, pulling a hand toward her heart.

“Of course I do! You’re speaking to the Grand County braiding king!” Lou teased as she began to wash Addy’s hair in return. 

“The king, huh? You’re the Girl King?” Addy teased as she leaned into Lou’s touch, chuckling.

“Yep.” Lou grinned, kissing the nape of Addy’s neck- which she partially regretted because after that all she could taste was the soap. 

“So, does that make me the queen?” Addy asked, which caused Lou’s face to go red. 

“I, uh… if you’d.. If you like,” Lou managed to reply, butterflies beating furiously against her stomach lining. 

“You know,” Addy began as she reached by Lou to turn off the water, “I practiced on how I’d ask you out in the mirror before I came in here.”

“I wasn’t in here for very long,” Lou frowned, but Addy just smiled. 

“You’ve actually been in here for a while, Lou. I think you just lost track of time.”

“I-” Lou winced, a sharp pain shooting through her forehead. “You might be right.” Addy frowned instantly and gently took Lou’s face in her hands again, examining her. 

“You okay?” Addy asked. “Your eyes look a little different.”

“I.. think I’m okay?” Lou frowned and blinked a little. “Just a headache s’ all.” Lou stumbled a second. Addy steadied her, her concern growing. “Sorry, jus’ a little light headed…” Lou muttered as she slumped against Addy, suddenly drowsy and lightheaded. Addy instinctively pulled Lou from the shower, her concern levels still rising, and settled her on the bed. The dogs whined and yipped, trying to get to Lou when Addy set her down, but Addy kept them at bay as she gently shook Lou. 

“Lou. Where’s your medicine? Where’s the serum?” Addy asked hurriedly, trying to be as clear as possible, as a dark trail of blood began to drip from both of Lou’s nostrils. 

“The bag,” Lou muttered, her hands visibly shaking as she wiped the black liquid away. “It’s in my bag.” Addy jumped toward Lou’s bag, which was in the corner, and dug through the pockets. Eventually, Addy did find the needle and the serum- but Lou was beginning to convulse, crying out as she did so- the cords in her neck bulging out, spit flying from her lips. 

“Shit, shit! Lou!” Addy ran back to Lou’s side, the serum and needle in her hand as she tried to steady Lou. Addy knew Lou needed to conserve the serum, but Lou wasn’t looking good- and she was seizing. So, despite her better judgement, Addy didn’t waste any time plunging the whole vial of the drug into Lou’s arm. Then Addy pulled Lou into her arms, already trembling with fear at the thought of already needing to mercy Lou, but after three or four moments Lou’s body began to relax and she began to breathe normally again. “Lou.. goddamnit… you scared me..” Addy’s eyes softened as she brushed her fingers against Lou’s cheek as Lou’s eyes- by now, they were nearly completely gold- began to focus again. 

“Addy?” Lou asked meekly, narrowing her eyes. 

“Lou…” Addy shook her head and hugged Lou close, squeezing her eyes shut. “Jesus Christ, Lou…”

“What’d I do this time?” Lou seemed to tease, her voice hoarse, as her arms weakly wrapped around Addy’s waist. “God… my head…” Lou didn’t hesitate to shut her eyes either, though she did for a different reason. Lou felt disoriented, but everything- her sight, smell, hearing- felt… odd. Not in a bad way, or at least Lou didn’t think so yet, and while she felt a tad weak- Lou’s body was beginning to tingle with power, like she’d been zapped by a powerline or something. Every nerve, every fiber of Lou’s being, was on fire. The scent of Addy filled Lou’s nostrils and blocked everything else out- it blocked out the dogs, the dirty laundry, and the smell of blood on Lou’s old shirt. 

“Please,” Addy muttered, shaking her head against Lou’s neck, “do  _ not  _ do that again. I’m not losing you.” Lou frowned  and gently pressed a kiss to Addy’s shoulder as she leaned into Addy’s embrace.

“You’ll never lose me.” Lou murmured, and felt cheesy saying it. After all, she’d been talking about her death for quite a while. Addy pulled back and quirked an eyebrow, gently taking Lou’s face in her hands. “I want to give you something.” Lou murmured as she kissed the moon-shaped tattoo on Addy’s arm. Lou leaned toward the bedside table without pulling herself from Addy and grabbed the silver combination tool ring she’d previously had in her bag and offered it to Addy.

“Lou, what-?”

“It’s not, like, a proposal or anything…” Lou muttered. “But it’s mine, and it’s something to remember me by.” Addy’s eyes began to water slightly as she shook her head and bit her lip.

“Stop talking like you’re going to die.” Addy instructed, shaking her head, as she rammed her lips into Lou’s again. “You are not dying on me.”

“God,” Lou muttered against Addy’s lips, “I hope not.” Lou broke away after a few moments and rested her forehead against Addy’s. She exhaled quietly, her chin quivering as she contemplated the thought of losing Addy- despite the fact they’d only known each other for three days. But those three days had been enough, and Addy had proved that she cared about Lou no matter what- that Lou wouldn’t lose her or her support. Lou kissed Addy again, and she felt a weight on her shoulders lift- a weight that had burdened Lou for a long time… the weight of loneliness. 

But now… now Lou wasn’t alone. 

She kissed Addy a third time, pulling herself closer- the passion once again burning in her gut as Addy pressed her still-damp body against Lou’s. Lou went to nibble on Addy’s lower lip, but the redhead hissed in pain and drew back suddenly- her eyes wide.

“Dude!” Addy frowned, touching her fingertips to her now-bloodied lip in confusion. Lou frowned, equally confused, and ran her tongue along her teeth. Lou’s lateral incisor, canine, and first and second premolars had noticeable sharpened- just as her instincts had, along with her senses. The ashen tone to her skin had noticeably spread as well, which was alarming. 

“Addy,” Lou sat up straight, the taste of Addy’s blood metallic and bitter in her mouth, as she frowned, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” Addy swiped at her lip with her arm, still frowning, before she shook her head and looked at Lou.

“It’s okay.” Addy said calmly, regaining her composure. “You’re going through more… changes.” Addy gently moved to examine Lou’s teeth, frowning in concern as she did so, before she kissed Lou’s forehead and shook her head. A pit of guilt had already begun to build in Lou’s stomach as she looked away, ashamed, before Addy began peppering kisses against Lou’s jaw and cheek. 

“It’s okay.” Addy repeated, her voice firmer than before. “You didn’t know. I’m not upset and I’ll heal. Alright?” Lou breathed a slight sigh of relief, although she still felt guilty, and huddled into Addy’s form. 

“Alright.” Lou murmured, breathing in Addy’s scent again. The peacefulness of the moment was nearly overwhelming, and Lou hadn’t experienced many things like it, but it was nice… and Lou was glad to be in Addy’s company, she was glad to be close to her- especially  _ this _ close. “Would it be crazy for me to say how much I appreciate you?” Lou murmured into Addy’s skin, not once moving from her spot. 

“Maybe. Depends on what you-” Addy began, her voice soft yet playful, but she was cut off by someone outside the cabin.

“Look! The lights!” 

* * *

The lights were, indeed, oddly captivating. Lou and Addy had hurriedly gotten dressed, both anxious to see what was happening, as a trail of lights filled the sky- all heading east. What the hell was so important to the east, and what the hell was happening? Lou sure as hell didn’t know, but the dogs tugged anxiously at their leashes as Lou held onto them. Lou, for once, could understand their emotions completely- she felt what the dogs felt, or not necessarily… but Lou could sense it. Fear, and awe, hung in the air like a cloud. The feelings of dread soaked into Lou’s skin like a sponge, but Lou didn’t know what to do to stop it. 

“What the hell?” Addy asked, her voice small, as her hand found Lou’s. Addy’s grip was rigid with anxiety, but Lou didn’t blame her. Lou was scared and anxious too, her heart beginning to race- her body beginning to tingle again.

The air was too still, Lou realized, and something else was wrong. But what? What the hell was happening? Lou didn’t have to wait long before her question was answered. A tangy, heavy scent filled the air- the scent of fire, and something else… something way, way worse. Lou didn’t know what it was, but it was enough to make her take a hesitant step back. 

Lou heard the threat before she saw it- the terrifying, blood-curdling roar of a grizzly… but it wasn’t a grizzly, not anymore. This monster was zombified, and it was hungry. The dogs were beginning to tug at their leashes, their fear- and Addy’s fear- stunning Lou momentarily. 

Everything happened very, very quickly after that. Lou was vaguely aware of someone screaming, she was aware that she dropped her dogs’ leashes, and she was aware that Addy was in danger. What Lou  _ wasn’t  _ aware of was the fact she began running  _ toward _ the Z-Bear, the innate desire to kill and destroy overtaking her mind- just as it had with the men who’d hurt Tessa. Lou, just like she had before, stumbled and fell- but just as before, she caught herself. Lou propelled herself toward the Z-Bear, her arms locking around its bloody middle. It reeked of death and rotting flesh, but Lou didn’t care. She screamed, trying to knock it off balance.

Lou could hear Addy distantly screaming at her, but Lou couldn’t make out the words. Teeth clamped down on Lou’s shoulder, heaving her off her feet and into the air as the Z-Bear tossed Lou aside like a ragdoll. Lou hit the ground with a loud thud, all the air leaving her body, and lay still for a moment. Fire was burning near Lou, and she thought she heard her dogs barking- either in pain or fear- but Lou couldn’t tell. All Lou knew was she was in pain, she was bit, and Addy and the pups were still in potential danger. Lou struggled to attempt to get to her feet, but she could hardly move- and she felt tired, oh so tired… 

“Get up!” Lou hissed to herself, still trying to shove herself to her feet, but they wouldn’t move- they wouldn’t listen to Lou. Then, as an intense wave of pain shot up Lou’s spine, she learned  _ why _ . 

Lou was changing again, but these changes… these changes were vastly different. Lou’s legs and feet were already beginning to reform; her bones beginning to stretch and crack. Lou’s heels were beginning to elongate, not too different from a dog or wolf’s, and her boots began to rip and fall from her feet as her toes grew bulkier and her toenails elongated into razor-sharp claws. Lou’s big toe began to shrink and pull back, almost like a dew claw, and a layer of fine, blueish-gray hair began to cover Lou’s legs and feet. Lou’s fingers were changing as well, the bones stretching and reforming into claws- her nails sharpening themselves into deadly points.  Then her spine began to lengthen, and her ribs began to expand as her muscles simultaneously began to rebuild themselves layer after layer. Teeth were beginning to sharpen in Lou’s jaw as it expanded into a short, but wolf-like, muzzle. Her ears rounded themselves slightly as her jaw widened and cracked, pain filling every fiber of Lou’s being. Truth be told, the pain was so intense Lou’s body had gone numb. 

Lou, in the back of her mind, could finally remember the drug’s name after all this time. She finally remembered its purpose, now that the metamorphosis was nearly complete. The  _ War Dog  _ serum was a success, and that crazy old rat had finally developed his battlefield drug- just like Doctor Kurian’s. Except this drug… this drug didn’t deal with zombies, it wasn’t modeled after them. No, Lou’s mad scientist had derived his serum after werewolves… and, unfortunately for Lou, it wasn’t the cuddly  _ Twilight  _ kind. 

No, Lou was something else- not necessarily a werewolf, but at the same time… she was a mix between human and monster, a soup of strength and speed… but also herself, partly. Lou still wanted to kill and rip and tear, but she wanted to  _ protect  _ more than anything. The energy from before, along with a new and intense strength, filled Lou as her transformation completed itself. She shoved herself onto all fours, then onto her back legs, and rotated her shoulders as if testing them- but Lou’s influence on her new body was beginning to fade, and she was growing hungry. 

But the Z-Bear was still a threat, and even this new side of Lou knew it. Lou dropped onto all fours again and let loose a vicious, spine-tingling sound that was half-roar, half-human-like scream. The Z-bear turned back toward her and roared its own challenge, now occupied with this new creature. Addy froze once she saw Lou’s new form, but she snapped out of it long enough to grab the dogs’ leashes before they could run towards the mutated Lou. 

The fur, or the hair… whatever it was…, had just finished forming on Lou’s body when she charged toward the Z-Bear with all her might. Lou was much larger than it now, and she had more teeth and strength. Teeth sank into Lou’s forearm, but Lou bit back and didn’t feel any more zombie-ish than she had before. If anything, Lou felt free- and she felt powerful. Lou’s steel trap jaws snapped onto the Z-Bear’s skull as she bit down, and after a second the skull snapped and Lou’s steak-knife teeth sank into the soft brain cavity of the bear- but even still, Lou hadn’t stopped the Z-Bear from wiping out much of the camp. 

Lou, if she was still even mentally herself, dropped the Z-Bear’s body after a few seconds and snuffled at it as she let out a slight snarl. Then she dug into its sides, tearing at it hungrily- not unlike a zombie would do to a human. The meat was rancid, old, and decayed; but monster Lou didn’t care- monster Lou was just hungry.

“Shit… Lou?” The fearful voice turned monster Lou’s attention away from her meal. Bloodshot eyes, Lou’s bloodshot eyes, locked onto Addy as Lou bore her teeth and growled lowly. The dogs whimpered, which made monster Lou curious, but Addy’s presence agitated and confused the monster. Addy’s brilliant eyes were wide and fearful as she looked at Lou, finally taking in what the drug had done to Lou’s body and, apparently, Lou’s mind. Addy took a hesitant step toward Lou, which caused Lou to growl sharply and withdraw, and stopped. 

“Lou, c’mon,” Addy’s voice broke, “it’s me.” Slowly, Addy raised her free hand toward Lou- which caused Lou to take another step back, eyes narrowing even more. But after a second or two, Lou stepped forward and sniffed at Addy’s hand. Lou’s eyes softened in recognition, and in fear, and she began to back away again- this time of her own accord, not the beast side’s. 

“Lou, no, don’t go… it’s okay… c’mon,” Addy pleaded. “Please… you didn’t hurt anybody, you… you…” But Lou didn’t stick around long enough to hear what all Addy had to say. Lou, overwhelmed with panic and fear, turned tail (no pun intended) and ran; leaving Addy behind with the dogs and the aftermath of the attack. 


End file.
